Christmas Songs, various artists (Nettwerk)

Nettwerk is a Canadian-based management and recording firm, and they collected this batch of performances from a fairly homogeneous group of artists, mostly of the pop-folk persuasion. As such, it's a little lightweight for the proprietors of this site. Nevertheless, it leads with its best cut, "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" by Sarah McLachlan and the Barenaked Ladies, an impromptu but sprightly backstage performance in which a trunk substituted for a drum kit. Sarah's version of Gordon Lightfoot's "Song For a Winter's Night" is also here, and other performers include Tara MacLean, Dido, Kendall Payne and Lily Frost, with mainly folky performances. Meryn Cadell's "The Cat Carol," although a little light in the songcraft department, will make cat-lovers cry, and Delerium gives us some electronic soundscaping with "Terra Firma." Capping off the album is a great monologue by Stuart McLean, "Polly Anderson's Christmas Party."

Christmas Party With Eddie G., various artists (Strikin' It Rich/Columbia)

A 1990 CD compilation from the Sony marketing juggernaut that is a textbook example of point #1 in this site's Statement of Purpose. Eddie G. is referred to cryptically in the liner notes as an Emmy-award winning writer for "SCTV," "Saturday Night Live" and Penn and Teller, who crafts mix tapes of favorite Christmas tunes for unrepentant Yuletide partiers from "the largest collection" of pop Christmas records "in the world." There's a lot of jingle-singer schmaltz, along with some half-assed Three Stooges imitators, in between the tunes that make this album sound more like a novelty record than it actually is. But that's the only bad thing I can say about this record. There's jazz, R&B, rock, ska, country, Cajun, blues and Tex-Mex all rolled together into one solid rock 'n roll Christmas record. Anybody who has Louis Prima rubbing shoulders with Huey "Piano" Smith and The Clowns on one side and Byron Lee and the Dragonaires on the other is obviously doing something right. Eddie G., if you're out there, e-mail this site!

Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics, various artists (American Recordings)

There's no way to get around it -- you're either going to love this album or hate it with every fiber of your being. Those of you who have been getting all your entertainment from Chinese cable providers over the past few years probably aren't aware of the "South Park" phenomenon, but everybody else is, and this Christmas album grew out of the series' Christmas episode, one of the few in which Kenny doesn't get killed. Once you know that Mr. Hankey is "the Christmas poo," you'll probably be able to make up your mind as to whether you want this or not. The Parental Advisory label is well deserved; not only is there a generous helping of gratuitous dirty language, but the entire premise of several songs is guaranteed to offend a majority of people. "Christmas Time in Hell," for example, has Michael Landon, Gene Siskel, Princess Di and JFKs Sr. and Jr. all sharing the same eternal fate as Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolph Hitler and Genghis Khan. In "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo," physical descriptions of the star of the show are gag-inducing exercises. And "What the Hell Child Is This?" features Chef denying he's the father of a baby, until he discovers it's actually Jesus. Then there's "The Most Offensive Song Ever," which almost fails to live up to its billing since Kenny's singing part of it through his too-tight hood. On the brighter side are Mr. Garrison's twisted ode to religious tolerance, "Merry F- Christmas," and Mr. Mackey's hysterical "Carol of the Bells." Two Hannukah Alerts come with "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel," a hilarious ensemble singing piece, and Kyle's classic "The Lonely Jew On Christmas." Other items are bits of incidental music from the special and from the episode promoting this album. As a South Park fan, I have to admit that the laughs outrace the winces on this album, but not by much.

Santa's Swingin' Sack, various artists (KROQ)

Sometimes you think you're gonna hurl the next time you run across another "top tunes from your favorite local radio station" disc that turns out to be crammed full of the same stuff every other such disc holds. Not so this sweet little 1998 compilation from KROQ-FM, Los Angeles' home of alternative rock, featuring morning guys Kevin and Bean. They have the good sense to limit their actual appearances on the disc, leaving more room for a great array of novelty and alternative Christmas/Hannukah performances from Barenaked Ladies, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Save Ferris, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Brian Setzer, Everlast and so on. Jerry Springer makes an appearance with "Jerry Christmas," in which Santa and Mrs. Claus do the Springer show, with predictable results. Ralph Sinatra does an imitation of his namesake on "Christmas When You're Dead" and Cherry Poppin' Daddies introduce us to "Butch the Gay Santa Claus." And Save Ferris cover the Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" with a Hannukah twist, although the net result fails to improve on the original. Don't forget to check out 1000 Clowns' "I Hate Fruitcake." Ben Stiller, Tyra Banks and Ben Stein make cameo appearances too. As a non-Californian, I had to buy this off Ebay, and my wallet still smarts.

Kevin and Bean's Last Christmas, various artists (KROQ)

The 1999 edition of the Los Angeles radio duo's charity Christmas album is the usual mix of comedy items and rock bands. Bands on hand are Unwritten Law with "Please Come Home For Christmas," Linda Polley and Moby on "Listen to the Angels," Korn's original "Christmas Song," another of the same title from the Dave Mathews Band, Blink 182 with "I Won't Be Home For Christmas," Long Beach Dub All-Stars with "I Saw Mommy Jockin' Santa Claus," Pennywise with "Christmas in Hell" and Lit with "Snow Blind." Also on hand are "Christmas at Ground Zero" from Weird Al, Tori Amos' "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," mistitled as "Christmas in Space on the cover, and Save Ferris' "Christmas Wrapping" for the second year in a row on a Kevin and Bean album. Bruce Springsteen gets parodied on "Christmas Blues (Are Getting Me Down)," and Puff Daddy, Al Gore, Larry Flynt, Bob Hope and Karl Malone are also lampooned. Best comedy cut is "A Very Heston Christmas," as in Charlton.

The Real Slim Santa, various artists (KROQ)

Kevin and Bean, morning jocks, return with another charity compilation for the 2000 holiday season. Fittingly, the album opens and closes with Eminem parodies, the title song at the front and "Stanley" at the back, the latter done by "Man Show" host Jimmy Kimmel. Parodies of Don King, William Shatner, Dennis Miller and Shaquille O'Neil join actual items from Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bobby Slayton and Bobcat Goldthwait. One of the better cuts is "Santa Claus: Behind the Magic," based on the VH1 "Behind" series; one of the more unneccessary is "The Night Before Christmas" as done by a Dennis Miller impersonator; apparently the perpetrator of this item is unaware that Miller and Dana Carvey did this exact same thing on Saturday Night Live a decade ago. Contributing original Christmas songs are Linkin Park with "My December," Andy Dick with the cute but blasphemous "Gassy Jesus," Weezer with "Christmas Song," MXPX with "Coming Home For Christmas" and Orgy with "Santa's Creepy Secret." U2's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" appears here again, and Fenix TX does a sexed-up "Feliz Navidad," Save Ferris cover the Kinks' "Father Christmas," Eve 6 do "First Noel," Travis cover Joni Mitchell's "River," Fuel performs "We Three Kings," 3 Doors Down does an acoustic "Jingle Bells" and Blink 182 gets their audience to sing "Silent Night." Victoria Silvstedt's "Santa Baby" is mediocre, although it becomes a classic when she does it naked, right?

Sounds of the Season '98, various artists (EMI)

This compilation wasn't released so much as it escaped; I found it in a used record store in Charlottesville, Va. A little promotion money and they could have scored big; maybe that's why the American EMI label has been deactivated. It's since been reissued for the current year with the 98 excised. Meredith Brooks of "Bitch" fame does a kicking "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" while Spice Girls flounce unconvincingly through the Phil Spector arrangement of "Sleigh Ride." One surprise is Everclear's "Santa Baby," which they do despite it being a girl's song. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy offer "Christmastime in Tinseltown (Again)" Coming over from non-EMI labels are Hansen's "What Christmas Means to Me," Sarah McLaughlin's version of Gordon Lightfoot's "Song For a Winter's Night," Loreena McKennitt's semi-Celtic "Good King Wenceslaus," Backstreet Boys' "Christmas Time" and Brian McKnight's "The First Noel." And Deana Carter manages to not country up "Carol of the Bells" too much, at least until the fiddle sneaks in at the end.

Delivering Real Holiday Refreshment, various artists (EMI)

CDnow and Coca-Cola sponsored this 6-song EP as a freebie during 1998's Christmas rush, and it was worth the money. Everclear's "Santa Baby" makes an appearance here, along with "Let It Snow" from Boyz II Men's Christmas album and "Silver Bells" by Michel'le from the Death Row Christmas album. EMI stablemates Marcy Playground give us "Keegan's Christmas" and The Dandy Warhols do a version of "The Little Drummer Boy" that also appeared on Tim Kerr's It's Finally Christmas. That leaves Keb'Mo' with "Jingle Bell Jamboree."

A Christmas to Remember, various artists (Velvel)

This 1998 album is a pastiche of previously released performances and new ones featuring the Smithereens, Jill Sobule, Michelle Malone, Lowen and Navarro, the Alarm and others. Former Bongo James Mastro and Sobule do some session work on several cuts, most of which are originals. Although there are some reliable rock credentials at work here, folky and mid-tempo is the order of the day for the most part. Exceptions are the previously available "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by the Smithereens as well as Pawnshop's "Little Drummer Boy," Lo-Watt's "Christmas Time" and Health and Happiness Show's "Jesus Christ," the Alex Chilton cover featuring Mastro and Sobule. Not bad overall, but remember you may already have a few of these tunes.

Santa's Got a GTO, various artists (Dionysus)

The subtitle to this 1997 album is "Rodney on the ROQ's Fav X-mas Songs" and it was assembled by Rodney Bingenheimer, the Georgie Jessel of the Los Angeles punk-pop music scene. It's kind of a benefit album, in that Rodney's using the proceeds to pay off the probate on his mother's estate. Nevertheless, there are 21 cuts on this album, which means Rodney's made a lot of friends in his illustrious career as LA scene-maker. Some of his friends are pretty well-known themselves, like Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Gos, who sings "Frosty the Snowman" with froSTed; Nina Hagen, who performs "Mary X-Mas"; Redd Kross, making their second Christmas appearance this year with "Super Sunny Christmas; and Wednesday Week and the Cranes. Other notable cuts are Pencil Test's "Runaway Christmas," the only Christmas song dedicated to Joan Jett's first band; the title song by The Ramonas; "Santa Doesn't Come to Little Jewish Children's Houses" by the Yid Kids, which earns a Hanukkah alert, along with Velouria's "Til Next Hanukkah"; and The Boss Martians' "Christmas Time," a Sixties homage although, liner notes to the contrary, it doesn't really sound that much like the Beach Boys. The Jigsaw Seen's "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" was originally on Stuff This in Your Stocking, but it's still good, as is Methadone Cocktail's "I Don't Believe in Santa Claus." Overall, a strong compilation, especially if your taste leans toward modern pop-rock.

The My Pal God Holiday Record, various artists (My Pal God Records)

Alternative-type folks from all over the map on a compilation from 1998, though the songs go back as far as 1981 in the case of "What Did Santa Claus Bring You For Christmas" by Boston's The Law, a group that later morphed into Scruffy the Cat. Many tunes are covers, although only a few of these are particularly interesting, like "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)" by Sean Na Na (great name) from the John Denver catalog. Sarge's "Last Christmas" is serviceable, C-Clamp's "2000 Miles" is draggy and Sweep the Leg Johnny & All Stars don't even bother to get the chords right on Band Aid's "Feed the World." Atom & His Package perform "What WE Do On Christmas," a tune that makes fun of anti-Semitism, and The Goblins get a Hannukah Alert for "Ha-Ha Hannukah." The Wine Chuggers get a few giggles for "(I Was) Drunk (On Christmas)" and Crucial Youth contribute a pair of thrashers, "X-Mastime for the Skins" and "Santa Claus is Coming (And You're On His List)." Overall, an average compilation.

The My Pal God Holiday Record 2, various artists (My Pal God)

This New Jersey alt-rock label is already on record with a Christmas record from a few years ago, which we gave a lukewarm review. This one's a little better, but there still aren't that many really catchy numbers on this one. Different batch of artists this time around too. This one kicks off with probably the best cut, Emperor Penguin's "Erotic Xmas (Home for the Holograms)," a kind of electronica piece with the keyboarded vocal thing Cher does on "Believe." Neutrino does a guitar-cruch instrumental medley of "Island of Misfit Toys/Little Drummer Boy" as do Del Ray on the "Nutcracker Overture/Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy," the latter playing the melody on the bass. Joshua Falken Trio's "Ornament" is an interesting song, as is Port Vale's "The Snowmen," and Beau Grumpus goBEAUlins have a kind of hockey rink anthem in "Candy Your Cane." Rebecca Gates does a New Year's type of beatbox-folkie music called "12:31," and Drums and Tuba wrap up with a drums and tuba version of "Auld Lang Syne."

Happy Christmas, various artists (BEC Recordings)

BEC Recordings is a Christian rock music label, but they do a fairly good job of evangelizing the music instead of The Message; I had to go to their Web page to make sure these bands really considered themselves Christian acts. If you can get past the self-classification, this 1998 compilation contains a pretty good batch of tunes. The emphasis is on traditional carols done in contemporary arrangements, although there are some originals that manage to get their points across without excessive proselytizing. The O.C. Supertones do "Joy To The World" as ska, Bon Voyage stick with the country roots of "Holly Jolly Christmas," Joy Electric's "Winter Wonderland" is an electronic popscape similar to Cocteau Twins' version, but more upbeat, and "Do You Hear What I Hear" by House of Wires also goes electronica on us. One Eighty does a Hawaiian thrash version of "Mele Kalkikimaka" and The Dingees do a faintly reggae "We Three Kings," although that's becoming a common way to perform it. Among the originals, "You Gotta Get Up" by Five Iron Frenzy, Sarah Masen's ballad "Heaven's Got a Baby" and Huntington's mildly Ramones-ish "It's Always Christmas At My House" are keepers for the mix tape. BEC followed up with another album in 1999; see following

Happy Christmas Vol. 2, various artists (BEC Recordings)

The folks at BEC let no grass grow under their feet; coming off 1998's Happy Christmas, they penciled in Vol. 2 for 1999. Many of these young quasi-alternative acts are licensed from other labels, but they're here all the same. MxPx's original "Christmas Day" is a rockin' album opener, Joy Electric drags out all the old analog synths for "Lollipop Parade" and Lost Dogs gives us one of the few covers of "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)," a mostly in-jokey one at that. Viva Voce heavy-metals "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," Hangnail hard-rocks "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and Flight 180 starts out the same way with "O Come All Ye Faithful," but they swing into a melange of styles from ska to boogie with a touch of Andrews Sisters in the vocals. The Normals medley their own "Peace Child" with "O Come Emmanuel" in an effective folky arrangement, while Norway does an electronica "White Christmas" that you almost expect to hear Cher step in and finish. If there's a disappointment, it's Sixpence None The Richer, who just aren't equipped to really sell "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch."

A Very Special Christmas 3, various artists (A&M)

With two well-received predecessors already in the racks, most listeners will want to know who's on it and how it compares to the other two. Answering the second question first, it's not quite as good as 1 but it's better than 2. The biggest weakness this collection has from the rock 'n roll standpoint is that most of the artists are a bit too reverent for their own good; everyone's too much on their best behavior this year. No Doubt wins the rockingest cut in a walk with "Oi To the World" against little competition. Still, there's plenty to like here. Smashing Pumpkins, Sheryl Crow and Blues Traveler turn in good performances, characteristic of their regular releases but not too solemn. Natalie Merchant breaks out with a gospelly "Children Go Where I Send Thee" and Sting's "I Saw Three Ships" is serious but sprightly. An all-star cast of rap stars take on Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" and blues prodigy Jonny Lang tears into "Santa Claus is Back in Town." Dave Matthews and Mary J. Blige perform original tunes, and the remaining artists, Steve Winwood, Tracy Chapman, Patti Smith, Chris Cornell and Enya all fall on the too-serious side of the ledger with their performances of Christmas standards. Overall, though, this is a worthwhile album.

A Very Special Christmas Live From Washington, D.C., various artists (A&M)

Taken from a White House concert at Christmas 1998, this was an easy way to get another album in the marketplace to benefit the Special Olympics. While some of these performances are reprises from the first three Special Christmas albums (Run-DMC's "Christmas in Hollis," Jon Bon Jovi's "Please Come Home for Christmas," Tracy Chapman's "O Holy Night," Vanessa Williams' "What Child Is This"), there are a few original moments on this one, most of which fall under the Sheryl and Eric show we've been treated to a few times over the past year. Sheryl Crow duets with Mary J. Blige on "Rockin'Around the Christmas Tree" and with Eric Clapton on "Merry Christmas Baby," the Bruce Springsteen arrangement. Eric then solos on "Christmas Tears," duets with John Popper on Canned Heat's "Christmas Blues" and with Tracy Chapman on "Give Me One Reason," her non-Christmas hit. Bon Jovi returns with "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home,)" sounding suspiciously like Bono from the first Special Christmas album. The whole cast then gets together on the Phil Spector version of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." Say, there's an awful lot of blues on the set list for a White House concert.

La La La La La La La La La La '94, various artists (Loud Mouth Sound)

A compilation of D.C.-area rock bands from 1994 take a variety of approaches to Christmas music on this independent collection. Red Henry, formerly the Noise Boys, kicks off the album strongly with their own uptempo rocker "X-mas Time." Biohio do a straight rock arrangement of "The Christmas Song," which is OK but not distinguished. "Silver Star" by Emmet Swimming is fairly interesting if downtempo, Envelope Throat's "Christmas Wishes" is classic 80s hard rock with a touch of synth in the one-man band format, and Kevin M. Rucker takes the same approach to a rocked-up "Deck the Halls." Atticus Finch, aka Shane Hines, goes unplugged with "Today Is Christmas" and Chris Gantzer plays an acoustic guitar instrumental, "I Heard the Children..." Triggerfish, formerly Naked Blowfish, also provide an original in "A Christmas Apart." A sprightly rock "Here We Come A-Wassailing" is provided by The Wassailairs while Egypt takes the electric blues approach to "The First Noel," with duet vocals from Kristin Ashbury. Michael Sheppard goes more traditional on "O Holy Night," as do Hearsay with "Silent Night," featuring a music box all the way through.

Yuletunes, various artists (Black Vinyl Records)

If you're a fan of obscure pop-rockers and 90s alternative, this 1991 compilation is one of the more listenable ways to celebrate the season. Artists include Matthew Sweet, Material Issue, The Cavedogs, The Spongetones, Shoes, and a number of others. Nearly all the tunes are originals by the bands involved, except Don Dixon and Marti Jones' sharp and too-short cover of William Bell's "Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday." They don't Christmas up the arrangements too much, which could be good or bad depending on your taste, but there are a lot of interesting lyrical takes on the holiday, from the single-entendre of "Piece For Christmas" by Big People to Spooner's "The Saddest Time of the Year." And The Cavedogs get points for doing a "You Know My Name -- Look Up the Number" -- styled piece with the epic title "Three Wise Men and a Baby." Republicans just discovering this cut shouldn't take too much comfort from the lyric "Santa's gonna leave the White House a lump of coal," since it was recorded during the Bush administration.

A Lump of Coal, various artists (First Warning)

A pretty good alternative compilation from 1991 featuring some recognizable names. Crash Test Dummies do a pretty straight-up version of "The First Noel," The Wedding Present tackles Elton John's "Step Into Christmas," Young Fresh Fellows perform "O Little Town of Bethlehem," Henry Rollins recites "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and the Hoodoo Gurus do "Little Drummer Boy (Up the Khyber)," in a Russian folk version. May be out of print, as I got a cassette version of this for $2 a couple of years ago. Good to listen to all the way through.

Excelsis Vol. 2: A Winter's Song, various artists (Projekt)

"A collection of ethereal/gothic/industrial bands" is how the overline squib on this album describes its participants, as well as those who contributed to volume one in this series. That line alone tells us these folks are serious as a heart attack, and we look for the lighter side around these parts. The liner notes also tell us this 1999 effort exhibits "a lighter perspective" than the 1995 original, and on that we'll have to take their word for it. Ethereal is the best word for this CD; they go for the solemn, the spiritual and the antique, best examples being El Duende's "Gaudete, Gaudete," Siddal's "In the Bleak Midwinter" and The Machine in the Garden's "Coventry Carol." Rhea's Obsession does an Arab-folky "We Three Kings" and returns later in the album with the "Huron Indian Carol," which veers more toward the Deep Forest side of things. There is a modern sheen to these performances that comes mostly from being recorded mostly in 1999, except for Human Drama's "I Believe in Father Christmas," the ELP standard that appeared on Stuff This In Your Stocking nearly a decade earlier. I don't know what the Shaker song "Lord of the Dance" by Unto Ashes has to do with Christmas. The Cruxshadows do a Depeche Mode-sounding "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)," and London After Midnight contribute an original "Christmas Song." Faith & Disease do "Silver and Gold" from the famous "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" special of 1964. Hannukah alert goes to Sofia Run's version of "Nerotai Hazarurim (Little Candles)."

Trailer Trash Christmas, various artists (Platinum)

This is where marketing overtakes music making, as most of these tunes are previously released. Still, like Rhino's Bummed Out Christmas, you have to admit it's a great idea. It couldn't hurt that there's an actual band called Trailer Trash with two cuts on this album, "Don't Believe in X-Mas," which is a rip of "Too Much Monkey Business," and "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas," a suitably country lament. The New Duncan Imperials provide us with "Santa Claus Is a Lie," complete with a children's chorus, and The Blue Moon Boys do "Santabilly Boogie," which is, not surprisingly, rockabilly. "Christ, It's Christmas Again" comes courtesy of the Geisels, a drum-less rocker. From the previously released pile, there are a couple of cuts by Leroy and Big People from Yuletunes, Mack Rice's "Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'," John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" and Mojo Nixon's "Trim Yo' Tree."

O Come All Ye Faithful: Rock For Choice, various artists (Columbia)

Some might find a bit of irony in Rock For Choice sponsoring a Christmas album, but that's a discussion for some other site. Personally, I found this 1996 album a bit weak, partially because two of the better cuts appeared on other albums previously: Henry Rollins' "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" was on A Lump of Coal and Juliana Hatfield's "Make It Home" was on Atlantic's You Sleigh Me the previous year. Sponge brings "Christmas Day," Bush offers "Good King Somethingorother" with a taste of "Hey Joe" thrown in, Luscious Jackson perform "Queen of Bliss," the Cranes take on John and Yoko's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)," Face to Face do "Blue Christmas," the Presidents of the United States of America's "Christmas Piglet" is slight even for them, but a nice female Ramones cop comes from Dance Hall Crashers on their own "I Did It For the Toys." Hanukkah alert: Shudder To Think perform "Al Hanisim."

Just Say Noel, various artists (Geffen)

Another good-cause album from 1996, this one benefits Witness. Lots of big-ish names here, a little better than Rock For Choice's album, although Beck's "The Little Drum Machine Boy" and Sonic Youth's "Santa Doesn't Cop Out On Dope," a cover of the Martin Mull classic, failed to live up to my expectations. And "Thanks For Christmas" by XTC has appeared elsewhere under the name The Three Wise Men (produced by The Good Lord). But Aimee Mann and Michael Penn's "Christmastime" is nice, Elastica take on "Gloria" and Southern Culture on the Skids does one of the better arrangements of "Merry Christmas Baby" I've yet heard. And in the "whatever happened to" department, Prince proteges Wendy and Lisa reappear here as The Musical Cast of Toys with "The Closing of the Year." Ted Hawkins' "Amazing Grace" didn't seem to belong, however.

Santa and Satan -- One and the Same?, various artists (Doctor Dream)

Cute idea for a title, and the liner notes run down the humorous "comparisons." This is your basic garage hard rock band compilation, no shortage of rocking out here. Musicianship, however, takes a back seat; most of these tunes sound like the bands are just learning them before our very ears. There is some variety of approach here, although Welt's "Blue Christmas," Splintr's "Here Comes Santa Claus" and Crash Kills Four's "Santa's Elves" all go speed-metal and there's a lot of sludgy mid-tempo metal on tunes like Cisco Poison's "Silent Night" and D.I.'s "Mr. Grinch." Tiny Lights goes for the lounge approach on "Frosty the Snowman" and the Tiki Tones take the surf music route on "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." The Grabbers do one of the few original tunes here, "Santa's on the Nod." Not great, but I got it cheap.

Yuletide Soiree, various artists (Rhino)

Having almost completely conquered the field of must-have reissues, Rhino has created a new genre: the coffee-table box set. Combine a bunch of smartly-compiled tunes on a particular theme, throw in party games and lyrics, and invite everybody over for a party. The two CDs in this holiday set feature few surprises; how are you going to have a Christmas party without "Jingle Bell Rock," "Run Rudolph Run," "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" or "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"? Rhino also commissioned five newly recorded holiday songs in both vocal and instrumental versions for those who want to do Christmas karaoke. Also included are recipes, decorating tips, invitation samples, and more. Not for the Christmas rock fetishist, but not a bad gift to give, especially a few days in advance of the holiday.

Just in Time For Christmas, various artists (IRS)

This album languished in promo-only obscurity for a couple of years, according to a club DJ I once knew, before finally being released in 1990. It features a number of artists from the IRS roster, circa mid-80s that is, performing a mix of original and traditional tunes, from Squeeze's "Christmas Day" to Wall of Voodoo's "Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas," the latter an instant holiday classic. Also on hand are the late lamented dB's with their own "Home For the Holidays," Police-man Stewart Copeland in his Klark Kent alter ego with "Yo Ho Ho," Timbuk 3 with "All I Want For Christmas (Is World Peace)" and Dread Zeppelin with "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth." A little on the serious side overall, but with enough rockers and novelties to tide you over the slower parts.

You Sleigh Me!, various artists (Atlantic)

A benefit record for Hale House, which cares for drug-addicted and HIV positive babies, this 1995 album is mostly cover versions by Atlantic artists. It's very listenable, especially if you enjoy alternative rock. Original tunes are Juliana Hatfield's "Make It Home," Donna Lewis's "Christmas Lights" and Everything But the Girl's "25th December." Jill Sobule does great justice to Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas From the Family," Mary Karlzen is the first female singer I know of to cover "Run Rudolph Run," Collective Soul puts a Bo Diddley spin on "Blue Christmas," Tori Amos does her ethereal thing on a solo piano version of "Little Drummer Boy" and Victoria Williams can't be mistaken for anybody else on "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." A worthwhile collection for a rockin' Christmas.

So This is Christmas, various artists (Atlantic)

This is a promo-only item from 1996 or so, consisting mainly of cuts from the above-mentioned You Sleigh Me. However, there are a few tunes that don't appear on that album: two versions of "Silent Night," one by Bad Religion and another by Evan Dando; and "The Christmas Song" by Hootie and the Blowfish, the same one that turned up on A Very Special Christmas 3.

Christmas Time, Chris Stamey and Friends (East Side Digital)

Originally released in 1985 on Coyote as a 12-inch EP with seven songs, this 1993 CD re-release balloons to 17 tracks, though it deletes another Stamey track from the original, "Something Came Over Me." It's a fairly slapdash affair that evokes the spirit of the Beach Boys Party album, but the cast of characters is mainly power popsters from the right coast: Stamey and his former partners in the dBs, Alex Chilton and his former band Big Star, Syd Straw, and a number of other folks. The original EP had the feel of something that had been slapped together on Christmas Eve over double eggnogs, but the additional cuts detract from that feel a little bit. Still, if you were a fan of the dBs, this feels almost like a lost dBs album. Top cuts include the title song, the dBs' "Holiday Spirit" and their silly take on "Feliz Navidad," Big Star's "Jesus Christ," Cathy Harrington's girl-groupy "Sha La La" and Ted Lyons's "The Only Law Santa Claus Understood," a hilarious recasting of Santa as a Wild West reprobate. Syd Straw gets points for a Christmas pun in the form of a cover of Blondie's "I'm Always Touched by Your Presents, Dear." Some of the other tunes on here are a little too earnest to suit me, but the good cuts make it worthwhile.

The Mother of All Flagpole Christmas Albums, various artists (OrtTone)

A 1993 compilation of songs from three years of the annual Christmas album organized by Flagpole magazine of Athens, Ga. to benefit that city's charities, this one represents good value for money. Better-known artists like Flat Duo Jets, Vic Chestnutt, Michelle Malone and Kevn Kinney mix with local Athens bands to perform originals and some smart covers. Allgood gets points for the first cover of Spinal Tap's "Christmas With the Devil," a fairly faithful one, too. Labrea Stompers take on "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" with a bizarre pair of pre-songs in front of it, and Seersucker tries JB's "Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto," a little less tunefully, but the jagged guitars are a nice touch. Michelle Malone does a serviceable "Santa Baby," though the original is still the greatest. But give this bunch credit for writing 15 of the 22 songs on this CD, with titles like "Christmas in August" and "Just Think About Christmas (And Sing What You Want)." There's also a case of dueling Tom Waits impressions by the Opal Foxx Quartet and Porn Orchard, although the former probably was unintentional. Hanukkah alert: Hetch Hetchy's "Candles and Miracles." This one's probably not easy to find unless you live in Athens.

Little Drummer Boys, Mark and Brian (Oglio)

Mark and Brian are disc jockeys for KLOS-FM 95.5 in Los Angeles, and they stage charity concerts at Christmas time every year with some famous and not-so-famous names performing. This double CD also includes comedy bits from their radio show, and it too is a charitable effort, sending funds to the duo's scholarship fund for foster care children and music for kids program and also to the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The first CD is all live renditions from the holiday shows from 1991 to 1999. There aren't any major standouts here, but the live aspect is nice. Performers include Chicago, Gary Hoey, Jose Feliciano, Peter Frampton, Eddie Money, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Collective Soul, Rockapella, Dramarama and Mel Torme doing his classic "Christmas Song." The Tories do "Wonderful Life," based on the movie. The Jenerators with Sarah Taylor do her "I've Got Some Presents for Santa," and Barry Manilow duets on "Baby It's Cold Outside" with the winner of a Mark and Brian Show contest. Oh, and Marc Bonilla does a nice version of "Nut Rocker." The comedy disc is typical morning radio stuff, although there's a version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" featuring old-time Hollywood stars, plus a hidden cut that really isn't worth the hassle of finding.

Sleighed: The Other Side of Christmas, various artists (Hip-O)

The mega-monolith Universal record company saw that its competitor Warner was making good scratch and getting good press with its Rhino subsidiary and threw together the Hip-O imprint for creating its own compilations of previously released material, although with far less forethought and wit. Nearly all of this stuff comes from some corner of the far-flung Universal universe, so you're likely to have at least some of this stuff on other albums. But some of these tunes are just obscure enough that you may want this anyway. More familiar tunes include the Smithereens' "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Spinal Tap's "Christmas With the Devil," Beck's "Little Drum Machine Boy," Sonic Youth's version of "Santa Doesn't Cop Out on Dope." Less than Jake give us a punk-thrash "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," Goldfinger reggaes up "White Christmas" and a couple of novelties earn the Parental Advisory sticker, like Red Peters' "You Ain't Getting Shit For Christmas" and The Little Stinkers' "I Farted on Santa's Lap."

A Rock 'n Roll Christmas, various artists (Excelsior)

Excelsior is a low-priced line of CDs you often see bins of in stores at tempting prices, like between $5 and $8, and their secret is getting material licensed to them as cheaply as possible. Nevertheless, the approach works if they manage to dig up stuff somebody might want, and they did a pretty good job with this one from 1994. Although items like Elton John's "Step Into Christmas," George Thorogood's "Rock and Roll Christmas," the Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" and the Kinks' "Father Christmas" turn up on a lot of other compilations, they did manage to scare up Bob Seger's "Sock It To Me Santa" and another Jon Bon Jovi item not on the first two Special Olympics albums, "I Wish Every Day Could Be Like Christmas." Also here is the Emerson, Lake and Palmer version of "I Believe in Father Chrismas," Billy Squier's "Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You," Elvin Bishop's gospel take of "Silent Night," the Moody Blues with a traditional reading of "What Child Is This," and Chuck Berry's "Merry Christmas Baby" -- the license holder probably wanted too much money for "Run Rudolph Run."

A Different Kind of Christmas, various artists (Risky Business)

Sony's budget label Risky Business throws together some neat theme compilations at discount prices, and considering the budgetary constraints of such a project, this 1994 album came out pretty well. Standout cuts are "The Christmas Twist" by Syd Straw, "Space Christmas" by Shonen Knife and "Mele Kalikimaka" by Poi Dog Pondering with the Dirty Dozen Brass Band. The dB's and Timbuk 3's tunes are from the IRS Christmas album and Dave Edmunds' "Run Rudolph Run" has been on a number of albums. NRBQ contributes a slapdash "A Christmas Wish," T-Bone Burnette and Bruce Cockburn offer traditional acoustic fare and Shawn Colvin does a jazzy take on "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Another Sony budget compilation from 1995, Rock 'n Roll Christmas, recycles the Cockburn and Fishbone cuts from this album but adds Roy Orbison's "Pretty Paper," the Hooters, New Kids on the Block, Eddie Money, Judy Collins and the Fabulous Thunderbirds.

Stuff This in Your Stocking (Elves in Action....), various artists (Veebletronics/Skyclad)

This 1990 compilation of indie alternative artists was a collaboration between two labels on opposite coasts and the individual songs were recorded between L.A. and London. I wasn't familiar with most of these artists, but there are some good moments on this disc. Some well-chosen covers include Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody" by the French Lemon Santas, Greg Lake's "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Human Drama and the Kinks' "Father Christmas" by The Leonards. Jigsaw Seen gets points for remaking "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" as "Paint It Black," and Emma Vine and the Emotionals do a pretty solid Debbie Harry impression on "Oh Santa." Sixties mavens might be amazed to discover Kenny Laguna producing his own "Home for Christmas" for the Characters here, and even more amazed to find Sky Saxon of the Seeds, here with Firewall, doing "Christmas in the Courtroom" with the help of Mars Bonfire, writer of "Born to be Wild." Bonfire also contributes keyboards and co-writing to "It's Christmas (And I Love You)" by The Electric Shoes.

It's Finally Christmas, various artists (Tim Kerr Records)

More alternative holly jollies on this 1994 compilation. There's not much in the way of liner notes on this album except for a Christmas message from the president of the record label. So I'm guessing at whether some of these tunes are originals. Most of these tunes suffer from that alternative concept that playing in tune is for sissies, but there are exceptions. Poison Idea takes a good stab at Elvis Presley's "Santa Claus is Back in Town," The Violets' "Rebel Jesus" is interesting, as are Swoon 23's "Merry Christmas to Me" and Ray & Glover's "I'm Mad at the Fatman." New Bad Things' "Shoplifting You Something for Christmas" is a great idea, but the performance almost sinks it. There are 19 tunes, but apparently nobody compared notes before the album went to the mastering plant; there are two covers each of "Little Drummer Boy" by Hitting Birth and the Dandy Warhols, and "Mr. Grinch" by the Whirlees and Caveman Shoestore. Hanukkah alert: Calamity Jane does an instrumental of "The Hanukkah Song."

It's a Rockin' Christmas, various artists (Run Wild)

This regional compilation from 1994 features rockabilly bands from the middle Atlantic coast, roughly the Washington D.C. region. Most of the tunes are originals, too, although "Run Rudolph Run," "Mr. Grinch," and Buck Owens' "Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy" turn up here, along with a Bo Diddley-flavored "Jungle Bells" and, Hanukkah alert, "She's a Yamakah Mama (At Hanukkah Time)" by the Ubangis. Sharp performances abound here, and future contenders for classic status include Wendy Michele and her Boyfriends on "Christmas Party Hop," The Maxitones' "Devil in My Eggnog" and Blue Chunks' "Santa Wants a Chevy." And Out Behind the Barn gives us "New Year's Resolution." This one's a keeper.

The Holiday CD, various artists (Hits Post Modern Syndrome)

This is a promo CD I got about 1995 or so, and it's not strictly a Christmas album. In fact, I'm not even sure what it's promo-ing; all the artists are on different, unaffiliated labels. There are only three Christmas tunes on here, but I list them so you can track them down one way or another: Better Than Ezra's "Merry Christmas Eve," a mostly acoustic number; "A Coventry Christmas" by 22 Brides, available on A Christmas Present For You on Zero Hour; and The Screaming Santas take on Big Star's "Jesus Christ," from a three-song EP called Trim the Tree.

Here Comes Another Christmas... Greetings From the Salt City, various artists (Blue Wave)

This 1993 regional compilation hails from the Syracuse, N.Y. region and consists mainly of originals with a bluesy tinge. Only "The Christmas Song," "Back Door Santa" and "Blue Christmas" are covers, and their arrangements are no surprises, except for Mark Doyle's vocal intro of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" in the beginning of his instrumental version of "The Christmas Song." Tom Townsley and the Backsliders cut loose with an original New Year's song, "Resolution Blues." Notable originals include Gary Frenay and Lil' Georgie's "Santa Man," Z-Bones' "Here Comes Another Christmas" and Muddpuppies' "Silent Night, Lonely Night." Kim Lembo does a great blues mama take with Ronnie D's "Under My Tree," too. Mostly blues oriented, but well done.

A Christmas Present For You, various artists (Zero Hour)

More indie-alternative angst from 1995, about half original, half covers. The Dirt Merchants do a kickin' arrangement of "Jingle Bells," very high octane, but Grover with Kevin Salem settle for a straight cover of the Pogues' "Fairytale of New York," complete with Shane MacGowan impression. Nicole Blackman kills with a piece of performance art called "What I Want For Christmas," 22 Brides does a doomy "Coventry Carol" and Boyracer does the only "Boxing Day" song I'm aware of, a fairly downtempo one at that. Best title on the album goes to Cucumbers' "Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum," in which Santa meets Terry and the Pirates, or something like that. The Black Watch put "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" to a very Cure-like arrangement, but without the vocal gymnastics. Kind of uneven, but I'd buy it again just for the Nicole Blackman piece.

Christmas, various artists (Loud Mouth)

This 1995 collection of alternative artists in a Christmas mood appears to be centered around the Washington, D.C. area. No big stars, but rock fans from Bethesda to Fairfax probably recognize the names. Two renditions of "Angels We Have Heard On High" share unorthodox introductions; Quintessence kicks off with a Beach Boys impression and swings, literally, into several flavors of jazz while the Pest Strips quote Harry Belafonte before kicking into an alternative arrangement. Other covers that pretty much hew to the alternative party line include "Winter Wonderland," "Do You Hear What I Hear" and "What Child Is This." "Nutcracker" by The Shit (no misprint) rocks out on "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy," Kevin Rucker's "The Night Before Christmas" floats the familiar poem on top of the old surf instrumental "Pipeline," and Ed Lawson goes accapella on "O Come O Come Emmanuel." Babyfat raps "The Man's Birthday," an original, as are Hoopla's "It's Christmas Time," Boomslang's "Christmastime" and the Drowners' "Merry Christmas Debbie Gibson," the best title on the album, with one scary line -- the one where the vocalist claims to own her box set.

Metal Christmas, various artists (Excelsior)

This 1996 collection seems to have no other purpose except to be something cheap to sell at Christmas time; my copy was only $4. Apparently, this was issued at full price a few years earlier. Although the artists' names are prominently featured, only a couple are anyone I've heard of. I don't recall Denny Laine, former Moody Blue and Wing, as having any particular heavy metal connection. And would you know Carlos Creator was "Spain's No. 1 Rock Guitarist" if you hadn't read it off the cover of this album? The performances here pretty much explain why the heavy metal genre went away in the first place, all samey-samey arrangements and thudding rhythms. Ray Callcut does get some points for setting the entire "A Visit from St. Nicholas" to music as "Was the Night," although the novelty wears off long before the song is over. Merry Axemas does the same kind of thing far better, if in a non-vocal setting.

A Home for the Holidays, various artists (Mercury)

The star-studded, purpose-built Christmas compilation concept that has served the Special Olympics so well has been pressed into the service of Phoenix House, the largest non-profit drug abuse services agency in the country. This 1997 album makes quite an effort to find something for everyone, with young artists and established ones, rock and rhythm 'n blues going for the Christmas vibe. Like this year's Special Olympics album, however, most of the songs are on the serious side, with only The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Redd Kross and Marshall Crenshaw going uptempo and lighthearted in approach. Crenshaw gets collectors' points for faithfully covering Bob Seger's "Sock It To Me, Santa," while the Bosstones and RK contribute original tunes. Also coming across with originals are the Lovemongers, aka Heart's Wilson sisters, Bon Jovi and Tony Toni Tone, who do the only rap tune on the album. Bon Jovi's Richie Sambora contributes "O Come All Ye Faithful" and up-and-coming folkie Dar Williams does an elegant "What Child Is This." OMC perform the non-Xmas tune "My Favorite Things" for no apparent reason. Also on hand are Aaron Neville, Vanessa Williams, Boyz II Men, Brian McKnight, Wendy and Carnie Wilson, Gloria Estefan, Suzanne Vega and Joan Osborne, whose "Children Go Where I Send Thee" is grittier than Natalie Merchant's pop-gospel version on A Very Special Christmas 3. Caution: not all of these cuts were recorded especially for this album; some are from the artists' previous Christmas albums.

Merry Axemas, various artists (Epic)

The cult of the electric guitar hero has never really gone away since the days when Hendrix and Cream ruled the concert halls. But how often, aside from items like Jimi's oft-bootlegged "Little Drummer Boy," do you get to hear a bonafide guitar gunslinger shred a Christmas carol or two? Not very, unless you have Gary Hoey's albums. Well, that same notion was gnawing at Steve Vai, former stunt guitarist for Frank Zappa, who organized this six-string romp through the Christmas catalog with 10 other certified axe-kickers. Steve himself takes on Vince Guaraldi's "Christmas Time is Here," Aerosmith's Joe Perry puts on his pinky slider for "Blue Christmas," Brian Setzer solos instead of singing his Orchestra's "Jingle Bells" from the "Jingle All the Way" movie soundtrack, Jeff Beck joins a growing list of people who are convinced "Amazing Grace" is a Christmas song, Joe Satriani gives us a "Silent Night/Holy Night Jam," and Richie Sambora contributes his second Christmas performance this season with "Cantique De Noel (O Holy Night)." Considering these guys are rock guitar virtuosos soloing their butts off on strictly instrumental performances, there manages to be a fair amount of variation among the cuts. Also on hand are Alex Lifeson, Eric Johnson, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Steve Morse and Japanese guitar sensation Hotei. This 1997 album has given birth to a sequel, Merry Axemas II, in 1998, again with Steve Vai at the helm and featuring Steve Stevens, Ted Nugent, Robin Trower, Steve Lukather, Zakk Wylde, John Sykes, Stu Hamm, Neal Schon, Trevor Rabin and Al Di Meola.

A Very Cherry Christmas, various (Laserlight)

Another Rod McKuen produced Christmas compilation for budget label Laserlight, with a combination of the famous and forgotten. At the very top of the forgotten list, for me anyway, is Boney M's "Mary's Boy Child/Oh My Lord." Boney M was big in Europe and its mastermind, Frank Farian, later was responsible for Milli Vanilli. The rest of this album is fairly high profile by comparison, with Brenda Lee doing "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and "A Marshmallow World," "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms, Chuck Berry's "Run Rudolph Run," Ray Charles' "Christmas Time," Otis Redding with "White Christmas" and for the jazzbos out there, Dinah Washington's "Make Me a Present of You." The Everly Brothers do "Deck the Halls" with a boys' choir, Booker T. and the MGs work out on "Jingle Bells," the Drifters do "The Christmas Song" and The Moonglows offer "Just a Lonely Christmas."

Acid X-Mas, various artists (Streetbeat)

House music tends to have one use and one use only -- to rock the house. Dance and drone. As a result, theme house records are kind of redundant. Nevertheless, here we have a Christmas record from a dozen mixmasters, beatboxes to the fore, thudding and droning their holiday greetings. It's all a bit samey-samey, especially when they throw away the familiar melodies of the Christmas songs they're doing and just hammer on one phrase. Still, it can be fun to zone out to all these old analog synthesizer sweeps and whooshes; having listened to this all the way through, I'm now a little nostalgic for my old Kraftwerk records.