That's Where Santa Keeps His Toys, various artists (Mistletunes, 2015)

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Fact-checking was big in the news this past year. Fortunately, that doesn't matter much to us here at Mistletunes, as it's a fact Christmas comes once each year, and we need music to get us through the holiday season. For those of you who need that music to rock out, well, you've come to the right place. Here's this year's playlist:

"Yabba-Dabba Yuletide," Brian Setzer Orchestra -- "The Flintstones" were long ago eclipsed by "The Simpsons" as a cultural reference, but when Brian Setzer tinseled up the 'Stones theme, I knew we had a disc opener.

"Christmas Alone," Yacht -- This snarky bit of modern synth-pop about skipping the mandatory trek home to see the family yanks us forward from the Stone Age to the Silicon Age.

"Sickly Sweet Holidays," Dallon Weekes -- A remarkably upbeat song, considering it's literally about being sick for Christmas. Talk about making egg nog out of cracked eggs.

"Rudolph (You Don't Have To Put On the Red Light)," mojochronic -- The Police tune gets repurposed for use by the most famous reindeer of all in this classic mashup.

"Santa, My First Love," Swear & Shake -- Santa's ex tells her story to a quasi-mambo beat. Can the reality show version featuring her and Mr. & Mrs. Claus be far behind?

"The Angel Gabriel," PC Muñoz with Dave Worm -- A hip-hop version of the biblical story of Christmas.

"Trim Another Tree," James Apollo -- He's apparently not happy with his presents, though some would consider that a "First World Problem."

"Must Be Christmas," Band of Merrymakers -- This is another of those occasional holiday supergroup songs, featuring members of Semisonic, Sugar Ray, Evanescence, Lifehouse, plus Natasha Bedingfield and Christina Perri. It's a rocking little number that benefits MusiCares.

"Linus & Lucy," Los Straitjackets -- A guitar instrumental band applies some rock 'n roll sounds to this Charlie Brown classic over a ska rhythm while wearing Mexican wrestling masks. Well, why not?

"Kitty Don't Eat That Tinsel," Peroxide Mocha -- This season's public service announcement, although I'm not certain the cats will heed this advice.

"Just Another Year," Bigudi -- This band from Moscow gets an 80s vibe going with this gentle tune set to dour lyrics about trying to grasp for hope. It's a seductive little number.

"Christmas In the Sun," Shake Some Action -- To come back from the previous number, some all-American power pop-rock about a non-snowy holiday.

"What Child Is This/Frosty the Snowman," Lez Zeppelin -- A medley of popular carols set to "Stairway to Heaven" by this popular all-female Zep tribute band.

"The True Story of Christmas," Fred Willard -- Old Jerry Hubbard himself, the star of many a Christopher Guest improv movie gives us his version of the title, and laughs ensue.

"8 Days of Hanukkah," Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings -- Because who better to celebrate those eight crazy nights with than an old-school soul band from Brooklyn? Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Deck the Halls," Langhorne Slim -- This rootsy Philly dude drags this popular carol into the garage and rocks it for all it's worth.

"Can't Spend Another Christmas (Without You)," Kris Rodgers & the Dirty Gems -- These guys bring back the spirit of '70s radio rock 'n roll with this driving original about a guy trying to get his girlfriend back.

"(Have I Been) Naughty or Nice," Kerry Pastine & the Crime Scene -- The singer asks the jolly elf some leading questions over a slinky beat while our imaginations run away with us.

"Who's Up There?," Bhi Bhiman -- He wants to know who's making noise on the roof, and hopefully it's Santa Claus, because, well, anybody else on your roof in the middle of the night is probably a reason to dial 911....

"Father Christmas," Pop Noir -- Heralding the arrival of old St. Nick while offering some useful tips: "He's coming down the chimney, please turn your fire off."

"Save Christmas," Straight Jacket Legends -- Since most of the preceding songs are new originals, here's a supercut punk rock medley of a bunch of more familiar tunes.

"Champagne (I'm Ready)," Lisa Loeb -- The singer of the 90s hit "Stay" puts down the acoustic guitar and strikes up the rhythm section for a New Year's party, and that's the recommended course for listeners everywhere. Happy holidays! 


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