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barnesbarnes.jpgNovelty mavens need no introduction to the creators of the epic novelty classic "Fish Heads," though they might not know the duo has persisted making music to the modern day. I discovered this through the Demented Punk website, thinking this was new for the season, but it appears this has been available digitally since 2018, and DP appears to have acquired the rights to hardcopy distribution, including special collectible packages. Anyway, what we have here is not hard to figure out; it's novelty music across a wide swath of genres designed to elicit some holiday giggles. The title, and the opening song "It's Christmas in Lumania," are both derived from Art and Artie's fictional home country, and no surprise, fish heads are on the menu. "Horny at the Holidays" is a hip-hop parody, "Down By Candy Cane Lane" is a ludicrously downbeat version of a holiday song, "Why Mommy, Why Do You Cry?" is an over-the-top melodramatic ballad, and the Barneses break out the ukeleles for "Santa's Gone On Strike," presumably because of the surfeit of bad news in the world, and "Jesus Is Groovy," which you could sneak into a Christian camp singalong and nobody would notice until it was too late. "It's Christmas Time and I Am Not With You" is more poppy, though they sing it in the same arch voices they use for the funnier material, "The Angel of Death is Near," sung to "Good King Wenceslas," is self-explanatory, "I Am a Flying Reindeer" is a mid-tempo rocker about the critters who bring Santa his Uber, "Christmas Is Coming Better Start Running" has a touch of Wild Man Fischer about it (no surprise, they produced a couple of records with him), and "Silent Night Holy Newt" is the classic carol done in a portentous arrangement that evolves into a bit of free association lyrically. The Barneses make sure not to bogart their style to just Christmas, with the minor-key "Hanukkah at Our House" and the jazzy "Kwanzaa's Here Again." And they remake Bill Mumy's "I've Got Some Presents For Santa," though there's no female voice taking the lead this time, thereby amping up the dementia quotient by a lot. If you buy the hardcopy -- CD or vinyl -- there's a bonus track, "Santa Claus Is a Martian." I'm lukewarm on this, as there's no mic-drop moments of the kind that make classic novelties. Like, say, "Fish Heads." But I will say if you're willing to listen to this in the way people used to listen to new records, you might just find this twisted but enjoyable.

deckmerkel.jpgLast year, we glommed onto these guys from Philadelphia who have been creating fun parody records for Christmas annually, and this is their 2019 edition. This time around they incorporate the comedy sketch bits more closely with the songs, and I'm liking this year's collection a lot. Only seven songs, but they're all winners. "San Ta!" is a takeoff on Outkast's "Hey Ya!," "Why Don't We Just Use Rudolph's Nose" is an elaborate sketch used to set off a parody of the Beatles' "Why Don't We Do It In the Road," "Mr. Bezos" pokes at online Christmas shopping to the tune of "Please Mr. Postman," "Christmas Is Expensive" tinsels up the "M*A*S*H" theme, another sketch prefaces a holiday version of "Suzie Q," "Red Dressed Man" takes off from the ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man," and the closer is a medley of two Band songs parodied thusly: "The Wait/Up On Christmas Eve." They always drop these collections with minutes to go before Christmas, but if you're just planning your Christmas mixes you might still have time to include these. Hie thee onward to Bandcamp for your copy.

Sugar & Booze, Ana Gasteyer (Henry's Girl)

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gasteyer.jpgYou'd be excused for not knowing that this former "Saturday Night Live" cast member has, since leaving the show, carved out a sideline of being a cabaret singer. But you might have gotten an inkling since she was unmasked recently on "The Masked Singer." And this would not normally be something that would make this site, but there's enough humor on this 2019 release to count it as a novelty record. For example, the American songbook not-but-should-be comedy classic "He's Stuck in the Chimney Again," and an original tune "Secret Santa" featuring another former SNL-er Maya Rudolph, filled with personality and Latin percussion. The title tune is a sprightly little novelty as well. The rest is mostly Christmas cabaret-style with traditional carols, but in this age of streaming and single downloads I figured some of you would be open to some pace-changers in your playlists.

randyrainbow.jpgIf you use Facebook at all, somebody in your feed has posted a Randy Rainbow political parody song at some point in the past few years. He's managed to parlay this into a career, with YouTube videos, downloads and even live concerts. And for 2019, he's gone Christmas with this album. There are a few famous friends along for the ride, like composer Marc Shaiman on the title song and assisting with incidental music, Kathy Griffin & Alan Cummings playing counselors on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Lorna Luft guesting on "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town," and John DiDomenico providing the Donald Trump impression on "Trump's Favorite Things." This latter tune is the only thing on the album that resembles the snarky parody videos mentioned earlier; the rest is strictly from showtunes-ville, which is not within the Mistletunes mission statement, but many people will like this well enough.

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Ordinarily I gloss over the more Broadway-oriented stuff, but this 2018 single taken from the musical version of the movie "Mean Girls" is such a single-entendre sex number I figured I could justify mentioning this as a novelty if nothing else. No folks, these girls aren't dancing around Lech Walesa.
claustrophobic.jpgJust encountered these guys for the first time, a bunch of Philadelphia folks who apparently do this every year. "This," in this case, is a batch of holiday parody songs interspersed with comedy dialogues. If you're missing the Bob Rivers series of rock Christmas parodies, this isn't quite like those, as it's a little less polished and on the nose, but they'll more than do to spice up your playlists. Best selection by far is their superimposing the Rudolph story over "Leader of the Pack." There's also a short takeoff on Eric Burdon and War, "Spill the Nog," Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs get a hat tip on "Wooly Cookie," John Prine's classic "Angel From Montgomery" becomes "Reindeer From the North Pole," "Banana Boat Song" is made to be about latkes for a Hanukkah Alert, "Avalanche" plays off Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide," and you don't have to be an Animals fan to recognize "We Gotta Get Out of This Place." The rest of the album is self-referential spoken word stuff. This is their 2018 effort and it just dropped a few days ago. When you get over to Bandcamp, you can check out the rest of their oeuvre and grab what works for you.

"Santa Baby," Miley Cyrus (YouTube)

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And could we bring the holiday season in for a landing without a nod to Miley Cyrus turning "Santa Baby" into a feminist anthem?

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The Zambonis are a Philly band that apparently exists to write hockey songs, and their latest is a tribute to the often-maligned new Flyers mascot Gritty. I'm mostly intrigued with Gritty because he seems to have become a Resistance mascot, but let's not lose sight of the fact that, although this is basically a hometown novelty record, it's actually pretty good. Whether it will wear well over the years is up to the listener, of course. On Bandcamp.
gritmas.jpgAnd just as I mentioned Gritty and his secondary position as a Resistance mascot, here comes this four-song EP with "I Saw Gritty Kissing Santa Claus," an explicit use of Gritty as a symbol of diversity. This was apparently done in response to a tweet by John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats that said "Do a Gritty carol." So they did. Other songs include "Snow Day," which covers the same ground, and a cover of Low's "Just Like Christmas." More enthusiasm than skill was involved in the making of this, so I doubt it'll travel much beyond Philly, but it's out there on Bandcamp for your edification.

A Very Spidey Christmas, Spider-Man (YouTube)

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OK, this isn't real, but it apparently is part of the 2018 animated movie "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse." As part of yet another accounting of the Spidey origin story, they go on to talk about how he made TV shows and a Christmas album. And they actually made the album, more like an EP, with Spidey references woven through a few classic carols, performed by several of the voice actors from the movie. This YouTube video contains excerpts, but you can hear the entire songs if you're on Spotify. UPDATE: This is available for download.

Here's a home-brewed novelty number about the need to keep up appearances during the holiday, liberally seasoned with Urban Dictionary entries, so be careful about including this in any widely distributed mixes or playlists. The jokes are all pretty obvious, but it has its moments. I embedded the Soundcloud post because it looks like that's the only way to hear it as of now.


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Following on from the mean tweeter in Rhio's song, it's only natural that we would have another novelty song about the guy who gets mean-tweeted about, and oddly enough it's another soft-jazz novelty song for 2018. This is actually an EP, adding "Christmas Eve at the Laundromat" and "Smoke in the Carpet," both moderate tempo ballads. You can get it from iTunes or stream it on Spotify, or listen at the artist's website.

ponytom.jpgThis is a husband and wife comedy duo, and for 2018 they tee up this very entertaining version of a holiday season as it might be featured in a Tom Waits song (he did write "Christmas Card to a Hooker in Minneapolis," after all), delivered in a perfect impression of the man himself. This might not play all that well among listeners who aren't familiar with Waits, but you might also seek out their 2017 holiday song, "Have a Hobby Lobby Christmas," to the tune of the Burl Ives classic, which will definitely get your Fox News Uncle's dander up.

OK, let's take a few steps back. Over the past several years, I've occasionally referred to "Baby, It's Cold Outside" as "the Christmas date rape song," or followed a mention of the song with #metoo. These, ladies and gentlemen, were jokes. Jokes, I tells ya. Here in late fall 2018, what started off as a bit of snark (I didn't originate it, but I ran with it) has suddenly turned into a "thing," because in the great societal game of "telephone" to which we've willingly subjected ourselves via social media, what once was social commentary has become an issue among the self-consciously "woke." I'm not going to reproduce the original lyrics here, but they don't actually say what people are now attributing to them in high dudgeon. Can you construe the worst impulses of men around women from those lyrics? Yes, if you really insist upon it. But that says more about the listener than the singer or the songwriter, doesn't it? </soapbox> Now that we've got all that out of the way, enjoy a little satire these fine folks have pointed at this latest tempest in a teacup.

"No Mean Tweet Xmas," Rhio (self-issued)

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There doesn't seem to be any independent audio of this, but I thought people would like to be appraised of this ripped-from-the-headlines holiday sentiment for 2018, so here's the Soundcloud player. If you stay with it after the song ends, you'll also hear Rhio take on "Santa Baby." Both songs count as soft jazz, but the A-side counts as a novelty, so here it is.

I frequently note whether some release or other that has come to our attention is, in fact, a Christmas song (like "My Favorite Things" or "Put a Little Love In Your Heart," which have been on a number of Christmas albums over time). Well, that's actually the point of this song -- it's a generic holiday good wishes song that can be sung for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day or Toyotathon if you like. You might miss the point of this 2018 number if you just listen to it, so the brothers have provided a lyric video made entirely out of stock footage to support it. Independent audio available on Bandcamp.

"Bohemian Chanukah," Six13 (Six13)

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This just dropped on iTunes, haven't seen it on Amazon, but I'm guessing you won't need much explanation of what this is. Hanukkah Alert, folks! Apparently these guys do this kind of thing a lot, see here. UPDATE: OK, Amazon has this song now.

Shatner Claus, William Shatner (Cleopatra)

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I've noted previously that social media seems to have dissipated whatever market there was for novelty Christmas music. Why buy albums when you can hear all kinds of stuff in your Facebook feed, after all. So for a record label to make this investment in 2018, there needs to be an angle, like celebrities, and that brings us to Capt. Kirk/TJ Hooker/Denny Crane/The Big Giant Head himself, accompanied by everybody from Judy Collins to Henry Rollins. Unfortunately, Shatner's been doing this talk-sing acting-school-demo riff for 50 years, and the Rhino compilation Golden Throats that threw a belated and ironic spotlight on his horrific version of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" was 40 years ago. Of course, Shatner has a long-standing fan base going back to "Star Trek," making this a fairly safe commercial bet, but Trekkers are an aging demographic, and this is an era in which mentions of Elvis Presley to anyone under 50 are about as relevant as mentions of Rudy Vallée. For those of you who haven't been exposed to this sort of tuneless hammy overacting before, you might get some laughs out of this, particularly as he plays off Iggy Pop on "Silent Night," Billy Gibbons on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Rick Wakeman on "O Come O Come Emmanuel," Brad Paisley on "Blue Christmas," Joe Louis Walker on "Little Drummer Boy," Judy Collins on "White Christmas," Dani Bander on "Feliz Navidad," Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) on "Silver Bells," Todd Rundgren and Artimus Pyle on "Winter Wonderland," and Henry Rollins on two versions of "Jingle Bells," one dubbed the "punk" version. But if you know Shatner's cover of "Lucy," well, this is more of the same.

"Snow," Mary Morris (YouTube)

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This was put up on YouTube in approximately 2016. Mary's a teacher who does this kind of thing a lot, and she also did an album of jazz Christmas vocals that's on Amazon if you're interested.

Some Latin music for 2017, courtesy of this fine roots/retro group. The original song takes a lighthearted look at Santa vis-à-vis the immigration controversy, observing that Santa has no green card or work permit, yet everybody loves him. Good fun, and guaranteed to give an aneurism to your Fox News Uncle™. Grab it from Amazon or iTunes, or just check it out here.

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Some years ago we all giggled at the unlikeliness of Bob Dylan cutting a Christmas album, though musical history, his Theme Time Radio Hour, and his current direction remaking Sinatra classics demonstrate that was a wrong-headed response. Now if you want unlikely, how about the host of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" embarking on a music career? And given his welcoming attitude toward the current president's candidacy throughout 2015 and early 2016, that he would not only end up lashing that candidate daily as president, but that he'd extend his brand into a 2017 Christmas EP poking fun at the guy? Actually, of the three songs, only "The Drumpf," a not-quite but may-as-well-be clone of "The Grinch," is the only one that explicitly hammers the guy, although "Christmastime," a nicely upbeat pop-rocker, makes a few mentions of this being a crappy year that feed into the theme. The remaining song, "This Christmas It's You & Me," is a midtempo bid for the singer and his love to jettison the big family gathering and celebrate with each other. I'll leave it to you as to whether you find this playlist-worthy, but if you use "The Drumpf," don't say I didn't warn you when the family's Fox News Uncle™ launches into a tirade.

"I Want A Papadopoulos For Christmas" (YouTube)

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Sorry I'm starting so late this year. Hope to have real posts up within the week.

 
Not much in the way of novelties crossed my path this Christmas, but this did. Chris, of Northwich, UK, apparently hasn't been at this long, but he likes to take the comedic approach to his music, and this is a well-thought-out music/video presentation on, well, selling out for Christmas. Good fun. Listen, and go buy on Bandcamp.

 

"Auld Lang Syne," Eleanor Friedberger (YouTube)

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Yeah, I know, it's an ad. But Eleanor, formerly of Fiery Furnaces and currently solo, has a way with a glass and a stick, and I needed to give you something in the way of a New Year's wish, so dig it.

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I'm always happy to throw the floor open to folks doing Christmas-themed parodies of popular songs, and that appears to be the whole reason for this 2012 album that I just discovered the other week. (Except for a straight cover of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," anyway.) As the name of the act suggests, these parodies are based on well-liked rock singles from the 60s, and the only glitch in the formula is that there's a faint smell of lounge band about the performances. Fortunately, that only becomes apparent when you play the whole album in one sitting. When you hit shuffle on your device, or hand-curate your own playlist from scratch, the better tunes from this collection hold their own quite well. The title song is based on "Incense & Peppermints," "Santa, Santa" plays off "Louie Louie," "Mom Won't Let Me" is a tinseled version of the Outsiders' "Time Won't Let Me," and I think my favorite of the group is "Sleigh Full of Toys," based on "Heart Full of Soul." The Rolling Stones get parodied twice on here, "Santa With a Red Suit" takes off on Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels, "Dirty Water" becomes "I Love to Go to Grandma's," and "Wooly Bully" becomes "Merry Christmas." Check 'em out.

Merry Christmas to one and all

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And so we've come to Christmas Eve, where I traditionally deliver a holiday benediction to the readership. Thanks everybody for reading the site, writing in with tips, providing actual music, and all the stuff that serves to remind me that the mission here is appreciated and even needed. Also as part of the tradition, here's something completely off the wall -- an entire album of goats singing Christmas carols. Apparently this is being sponsored by Swedish human services non-profit ActionAid, which currently is campaigning for contributions to buy goats for families in the Third World to help the families feed themselves. A worthy cause, and a few giggles besides. Who could object? (Yes, I know it's in Swedish; use Google Translate, OK?) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

shearer.jpgThe singer/songwriter and her husband, a co-creator of "This Is Spinal Tap" and famed "The Simpsons" voice actor, have organized live Christmas-themed performances for a few years now, featuring a rotating cast of characters you might know, with the proceeds going to charity. For 2015, they've provided us with an audio document of these performances, half of which were performed live. It's essentially a long EP, six songs, all originals. As you might imagine, a group of people who are mainly known for acting over musical endeavors are going to sound more like a Broadway revue than Trans-Siberian Express, but it's a worthy document if you're fans of these people. Judith Owen provides two solo tunes, "The Best Things" and "(I'll Sing) Silent Night for You," both singer/songwriter style piano ballads and strong candidates for the permanent Christmas canon. Amy Engelhardt brings the show tune chutzpah with a "Great Balls of Fire"-styled lament from mother Mary, "How Did This Thing Get In Me?" Harry Shearer, with help from Jane Lynch, Alice Russell and Ian Shaw, offers the slow jam parody "Too Many Notes," and former SCTV diva Catherine O'Hara sings "What Do You Give the Man Who Has Nothing?," which satirizes a person who wants to help the needy on Christmas but makes that desire all about himself. That leaves Fred Willard's monologue over a musical bed, "The True Story of Christmas," which is absolutely hilarious and should be heard widely. My main complaint is that after listening to this I stumbled over something that isn't on this collection and should be -- Harry, Jane and Weird Al Yankovic covering Jill Sobule's "Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner." So here it is.

Xmasqueens.jpgThe RuPaul influence on 2015's holiday season continues with this raft of "Drag Race" competitors doing their take on the holiday repertoire. Like RuPaul's disc, the sound is mostly modern pop/dance/R'nB, but it's more of a novelty album, in that enthusiasm outstrips talent here. And it's also for mature audiences, in regard to some infrequent sex talk. But you might get a kick out of Ginger Minj's "Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa-Ka," a song that will at least help you explain to the Fox News-obsessed stick-in-the-muds out there why people say "Happy holidays" this time of year. Or Sharon Needles' punky take on "Jingle Bells" that does something unspeakable with the top of a Christmas tree to start. "From Head To Mistletoe" by Courtney Act throws in a tiny bit of girl-group schmaltz, Jiggly Caliente brings the hip-hop on "Ratchet Christmas," and the near-obligatory ode to the ugly "Christmas Sweater" is brought to us with a touch of folk-country by Alaska Thunderfuck (really), Courtney Act and Willam. The latter artist shows up again doing a Bill Cosby impression on "A Very Cozby Christmas," which is really "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Oddly, Manila Luzon performs "Slay Bells," which you'll recall is the title of RuPaul's album, Violet Chachki delivers an R-rated "The Night Before Christmas," and Detox tips his wig to Hanukkah with "This Is How We Jew It." I won't make any great claims for this album, but there are some giggles to be mined here if you're up for it.

I've been seeing fewer of these pop song holiday parodies because the whole novelty genre seems to have migrated to YouTube, so it's harder to hear about this stuff when it happens. But since I did find this one, a 2015 parody of One Dimension's "Apologize," well, enjoy. The Murrays (not to be confused with the Midwest punk band of the same name) are a young family who likes to make silly videos like this one. No independent audio I'm aware of, but I'm sure you'll find a way around that.....

A little something for you "Orange Is the New Black" fans out there. Once again, Merry Christmas.

 
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