Recently in Novelties Category

merkel23.jpgThe actual title of this comedy EP is Merkel and the Merkelettes Sing One Half of a Christmas Classic and a Couple of Songs You've Never Heard Before, but it was too unwieldy for the title field. For 2023, this Philly comedy ensemble only managed to squeeze out four tunes, a fairly smarmy version of "Silver Bells," a weak takeoff on the Beatles "Her Majesty" called "Saint Nicholas," and two originals. "Don't Get Caught Under the Mistletoe" is rendered as some sort of lost World War II pop song and "Christmas Eve in a Communist Bookstore" is a Sixties folk revival satire. They've done better work in previous years, but the latter two songs deserve a hearing. Pop over to Bandcamp and see for yourself.

merkellifexmas.jpgThis Philly parody troupe dropped its latest holiday offering on Christmas Day 2022, in keeping with the tradition. This year's offering is a little lighter than previous entries, consisting of five distinct performances, two of which are mostly sketches, although "No Christmas Tree" incorporates the antique carol. That leaves the ode to compulsive dining "Eat Christmas Hams," a hard rocker whose melody I don't recognize; "The Mall at King of Prussia," a parody of "Hotel California"; and the title song, which takes off from the Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime." The usual warnings about hobbyist recording and performance apply, but that doesn't take away from the listening pleasure. It's on Bandcamp.

mirmanroche.jpgThe comedian and folk singer come together for this 2022 novelty rocker about whether to tell your kid that Santa's just a myth, or an amalgamation of 2,000 years of myths. It's wordy but fun.

kenfruitcake.jpgWe had Vancouver-based Adam for the first time last season with a full album of holiday silliness, and he's back with a single for 2022. The A-side is a pop-rocker that is about, well, trying to get a fruitcake from a drive-thru restaurant, and the B-side, "Christmas Sock Drop," is about having your socks droop inside your winter boots. Novelties, but also fun pace-changers for your playlists. Hie yourself on over to Bandcamp for a taste.

merkelspace.jpgHaving just gotten last year's entry by these Philly jokesters, it was fresh in my mind to go after the 2021 entry in the series upon its Christmas Eve release. This year's conceit is the current obsession of billionaires with space travel, especially Amazon, and running character Rich Mahogany's need to testify in front of Congress about that company's imaginary adventures in space involving floating warehouses and Merkel's misadventures there. Lots of references to "2001: A Space Odyssey," "Peanuts," and "The Grinch" of course, along with a lot of dated political references in the congressional segments. "Spaceward" and "Christmas In Space" are folky ruminations following the storyline, "Christmas Spirit in the Sky" parodies the 60s hit by Norman Greenbaum, "Straight Up" steals the Paula Abdul smash, "Whoville In the End" plays off "Blowin' In the Wind," one of the sketches, "Mr. Mahogany Is a Little Freaked Out," incorporates a takeoff on John Lennon's "Watching the Wheels," "Still Alive" is a vocal solo by "Mother," the spaceship's artificial intelligence character, though if it's a parody I don't recognize the original song, and "The Merkelettes" is a concluding number based on Marshall Tucker Band's "Take the Highway." This doesn't lend itself to playlisting, unfortunately, as the tunes are too tightly wound into the sketch material, but that doesn't mean you won't enjoy listening to this album on its own merits. As usual, it's on Bandcamp.

MerkelSaves.jpgMissed this when it dropped Christmas Eve 2020, the latest collection of novelties and sketches from this Philly aggregation. This year's collection is light on song parodies and heavy on sketch material based on a radio show run by a personality called Rich Mahogany talking to Santa. There are only four full songs: "Oldman," a takeoff on the Neil Young song that is about actor Gary Oldman and is not particularly Christmas oriented; "Santa Claus Is Coming," the classic Santa song with lyrics tweaked to take in the pandemic; "Delusions," a Fleetwood Mac takeoff that incorporates Christmas with quarantining; and "Where's My Yuletide," further quarantining set to what's either a Nirvana or Green Day number that I just can't place, feel free to weigh in. It's on Bandcamp if you're short of novelties for the season.

maskedxmas.jpgGive the late night folks, especially Jimmy Fallon, credit for blurring the lines between novelty records and TV musical sketches by putting this cool topical tune up for downloading and streaming as well as YouTube viewing. Getting Ariana Grande and Megan Thee Stallion to play along definitely helps, and maybe this will even be a hit.

adamkennedy.jpgMost of what you see here comes from professional musicians, but we've never shrunk from presenting people's homemade holiday visions here. Adam's Bandcamp page presents his credentials as a Christmas obsessive, including his music collection. For 2021 the Vancouver, BC native conjured up his very own Christmas album of original novelty songs. Opening tune "Shrunk Down For Christmas" indulges the album's title premise, "Christmas During COVID-19" is the almost obligatory nod to the pandemic, "Cheap Cheap Chocolate" is an ode to the Advent calendar, "Bumbles Don't Bounce" watches the Abominable Snowman fall off a ledge and die, "Late to the Christmas Craft Fair" is an R.E.M.-ish dirge that ends with a gun, "Old Time Rocker" is an old-time rocker about an old-time rocker giving a gun for Christmas, and "NORAD Tracks Santa Claus" imagines if the Air Force actually did track the jolly elf and he resisted their forays. "Santa's Watching You Funk" has him engaging in voyeurism, "The Plight Before Christmas" is a corrupted "Night Before" crossed with "Christmas Carol" set to New Orleans piano, and "Twelve Days Is Not Enough" is a folky strum in a gravelly voice, perhaps an ode to Tom Waits, taking off from the familiar carol and envisioning the singer gifting more and more birds for 44 days. "The Bruth About Christmas" is hard to explain as it's more of a skit than a song, "Accident Prone at Christmas" is a silly show tune about giving one's disability insurance a run for its money, "My Snowman" is about the singer's inability to make a good snowman, "Herb Alpert Swung By For Christmas" attempts to evoke the Tijuana Brass leader's music while discussing a (likely fictional) visit from the horn man, "Those Aren't the Original Reindeer" is a rockabilly take on the demise of Santa's herd, and "Those High Notes" is an excessively self-aware nod to Adam's limited singing ability. There are a fair number of laughs here, but owing to some vulgarities I'd apply the parental guidance sticker to this collection. As noted above, you can sample or download the whole thing at Bandcamp.

For your moment of zen, here's Kevin Drew of Broken Social Scene with this 2020 novelty that is "sung" by a unicorn hand puppet. No independent audio for this so far that I can find, so enjoy.


XmasFerret.jpgThis nerdy bunch of guys from California can make They Might Be Giants look like Otis Day and the Knights in the dormitory-rock genre, and we've had them on the site with Christmas songs before. For 2020, they offer one of the more annoying fur-bearing mammals as a gift (I had a friend who owned one, and every time I visited he would let it out and it would bite everyone's ankles). As you'll see in the lyrics, the reason for this gift was on the passive-aggressive spectrum. It's a fun change of pace. Get it from Bandcamp or Amazon.

Your moment of zen

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barnesbarnes.jpgNovelty mavens need no introduction to the creators of the epic novelty classic "Fish Heads," though they might not know the duo has persisted making music to the modern day. I discovered this through the Demented Punk website, thinking this was new for the season, but it appears this has been available digitally since 2018, and DP appears to have acquired the rights to hardcopy distribution, including special collectible packages. Anyway, what we have here is not hard to figure out; it's novelty music across a wide swath of genres designed to elicit some holiday giggles. The title, and the opening song "It's Christmas in Lumania," are both derived from Art and Artie's fictional home country, and no surprise, fish heads are on the menu. "Horny at the Holidays" is a hip-hop parody, "Down By Candy Cane Lane" is a ludicrously downbeat version of a holiday song, "Why Mommy, Why Do You Cry?" is an over-the-top melodramatic ballad, and the Barneses break out the ukeleles for "Santa's Gone On Strike," presumably because of the surfeit of bad news in the world, and "Jesus Is Groovy," which you could sneak into a Christian camp singalong and nobody would notice until it was too late. "It's Christmas Time and I Am Not With You" is more poppy, though they sing it in the same arch voices they use for the funnier material, "The Angel of Death is Near," sung to "Good King Wenceslas," is self-explanatory, "I Am a Flying Reindeer" is a mid-tempo rocker about the critters who bring Santa his Uber, "Christmas Is Coming Better Start Running" has a touch of Wild Man Fischer about it (no surprise, they produced a couple of records with him), and "Silent Night Holy Newt" is the classic carol done in a portentous arrangement that evolves into a bit of free association lyrically. The Barneses make sure not to bogart their style to just Christmas, with the minor-key "Hanukkah at Our House" and the jazzy "Kwanzaa's Here Again." And they remake Bill Mumy's "I've Got Some Presents For Santa," though there's no female voice taking the lead this time, thereby amping up the dementia quotient by a lot. If you buy the hardcopy -- CD or vinyl -- there's a bonus track, "Santa Claus Is a Martian." I'm lukewarm on this, as there's no mic-drop moments of the kind that make classic novelties. Like, say, "Fish Heads." But I will say if you're willing to listen to this in the way people used to listen to new records, you might just find this twisted but enjoyable.

deckmerkel.jpgLast year, we glommed onto these guys from Philadelphia who have been creating fun parody records for Christmas annually, and this is their 2019 edition. This time around they incorporate the comedy sketch bits more closely with the songs, and I'm liking this year's collection a lot. Only seven songs, but they're all winners. "San Ta!" is a takeoff on Outkast's "Hey Ya!," "Why Don't We Just Use Rudolph's Nose" is an elaborate sketch used to set off a parody of the Beatles' "Why Don't We Do It In the Road," "Mr. Bezos" pokes at online Christmas shopping to the tune of "Please Mr. Postman," "Christmas Is Expensive" tinsels up the "M*A*S*H" theme, another sketch prefaces a holiday version of "Suzie Q," "Red Dressed Man" takes off from the ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man," and the closer is a medley of two Band songs parodied thusly: "The Wait/Up On Christmas Eve." They always drop these collections with minutes to go before Christmas, but if you're just planning your Christmas mixes you might still have time to include these. Hie thee onward to Bandcamp for your copy.

Sugar & Booze, Ana Gasteyer (Henry's Girl)

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gasteyer.jpgYou'd be excused for not knowing that this former "Saturday Night Live" cast member has, since leaving the show, carved out a sideline of being a cabaret singer. But you might have gotten an inkling since she was unmasked recently on "The Masked Singer." And this would not normally be something that would make this site, but there's enough humor on this 2019 release to count it as a novelty record. For example, the American songbook not-but-should-be comedy classic "He's Stuck in the Chimney Again," and an original tune "Secret Santa" featuring another former SNL-er Maya Rudolph, filled with personality and Latin percussion. The title tune is a sprightly little novelty as well. The rest is mostly Christmas cabaret-style with traditional carols, but in this age of streaming and single downloads I figured some of you would be open to some pace-changers in your playlists.

"Silent Night," Chewbacca (YouTube)

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This has actually been around since 1999 but I just saw it for the first time this year. With the "final" Star Wars movie premiering this week, it seems like a good time to run it here.

randyrainbow.jpgIf you use Facebook at all, somebody in your feed has posted a Randy Rainbow political parody song at some point in the past few years. He's managed to parlay this into a career, with YouTube videos, downloads and even live concerts. And for 2019, he's gone Christmas with this album. There are a few famous friends along for the ride, like composer Marc Shaiman on the title song and assisting with incidental music, Kathy Griffin & Alan Cummings playing counselors on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Lorna Luft guesting on "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town," and John DiDomenico providing the Donald Trump impression on "Trump's Favorite Things." This latter tune is the only thing on the album that resembles the snarky parody videos mentioned earlier; the rest is strictly from showtunes-ville, which is not within the Mistletunes mission statement, but many people will like this well enough.

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Ordinarily I gloss over the more Broadway-oriented stuff, but this 2018 single taken from the musical version of the movie "Mean Girls" is such a single-entendre sex number I figured I could justify mentioning this as a novelty if nothing else. No folks, these girls aren't dancing around Lech Walesa.
claustrophobic.jpgJust encountered these guys for the first time, a bunch of Philadelphia folks who apparently do this every year. "This," in this case, is a batch of holiday parody songs interspersed with comedy dialogues. If you're missing the Bob Rivers series of rock Christmas parodies, this isn't quite like those, as it's a little less polished and on the nose, but they'll more than do to spice up your playlists. Best selection by far is their superimposing the Rudolph story over "Leader of the Pack." There's also a short takeoff on Eric Burdon and War, "Spill the Nog," Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs get a hat tip on "Wooly Cookie," John Prine's classic "Angel From Montgomery" becomes "Reindeer From the North Pole," "Banana Boat Song" is made to be about latkes for a Hanukkah Alert, "Avalanche" plays off Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide," and you don't have to be an Animals fan to recognize "We Gotta Get Out of This Place." The rest of the album is self-referential spoken word stuff. This is their 2018 effort and it just dropped a few days ago. When you get over to Bandcamp, you can check out the rest of their oeuvre and grab what works for you.

"Santa Baby," Miley Cyrus (YouTube)

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And could we bring the holiday season in for a landing without a nod to Miley Cyrus turning "Santa Baby" into a feminist anthem?

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The Zambonis are a Philly band that apparently exists to write hockey songs, and their latest is a tribute to the often-maligned new Flyers mascot Gritty. I'm mostly intrigued with Gritty because he seems to have become a Resistance mascot, but let's not lose sight of the fact that, although this is basically a hometown novelty record, it's actually pretty good. Whether it will wear well over the years is up to the listener, of course. On Bandcamp.
gritmas.jpgAnd just as I mentioned Gritty and his secondary position as a Resistance mascot, here comes this four-song EP with "I Saw Gritty Kissing Santa Claus," an explicit use of Gritty as a symbol of diversity. This was apparently done in response to a tweet by John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats that said "Do a Gritty carol." So they did. Other songs include "Snow Day," which covers the same ground, and a cover of Low's "Just Like Christmas." More enthusiasm than skill was involved in the making of this, so I doubt it'll travel much beyond Philly, but it's out there on Bandcamp for your edification.

A Very Spidey Christmas, Spider-Man (YouTube)

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OK, this isn't real, but it apparently is part of the 2018 animated movie "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse." As part of yet another accounting of the Spidey origin story, they go on to talk about how he made TV shows and a Christmas album. And they actually made the album, more like an EP, with Spidey references woven through a few classic carols, performed by several of the voice actors from the movie. This YouTube video contains excerpts, but you can hear the entire songs if you're on Spotify. UPDATE: This is available for download.

Here's a home-brewed novelty number about the need to keep up appearances during the holiday, liberally seasoned with Urban Dictionary entries, so be careful about including this in any widely distributed mixes or playlists. The jokes are all pretty obvious, but it has its moments. I embedded the Soundcloud post because it looks like that's the only way to hear it as of now.


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Following on from the mean tweeter in Rhio's song, it's only natural that we would have another novelty song about the guy who gets mean-tweeted about, and oddly enough it's another soft-jazz novelty song for 2018. This is actually an EP, adding "Christmas Eve at the Laundromat" and "Smoke in the Carpet," both moderate tempo ballads. You can get it from iTunes or stream it on Spotify, or listen at the artist's website.

ponytom.jpgThis is a husband and wife comedy duo, and for 2018 they tee up this very entertaining version of a holiday season as it might be featured in a Tom Waits song (he did write "Christmas Card to a Hooker in Minneapolis," after all), delivered in a perfect impression of the man himself. This might not play all that well among listeners who aren't familiar with Waits, but you might also seek out their 2017 holiday song, "Have a Hobby Lobby Christmas," to the tune of the Burl Ives classic, which will definitely get your Fox News Uncle's dander up.

OK, let's take a few steps back. Over the past several years, I've occasionally referred to "Baby, It's Cold Outside" as "the Christmas date rape song," or followed a mention of the song with #metoo. These, ladies and gentlemen, were jokes. Jokes, I tells ya. Here in late fall 2018, what started off as a bit of snark (I didn't originate it, but I ran with it) has suddenly turned into a "thing," because in the great societal game of "telephone" to which we've willingly subjected ourselves via social media, what once was social commentary has become an issue among the self-consciously "woke." I'm not going to reproduce the original lyrics here, but they don't actually say what people are now attributing to them in high dudgeon. Can you construe the worst impulses of men around women from those lyrics? Yes, if you really insist upon it. But that says more about the listener than the singer or the songwriter, doesn't it? </soapbox> Now that we've got all that out of the way, enjoy a little satire these fine folks have pointed at this latest tempest in a teacup.

"No Mean Tweet Xmas," Rhio (self-issued)

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There doesn't seem to be any independent audio of this, but I thought people would like to be appraised of this ripped-from-the-headlines holiday sentiment for 2018, so here's the Soundcloud player. If you stay with it after the song ends, you'll also hear Rhio take on "Santa Baby." Both songs count as soft jazz, but the A-side counts as a novelty, so here it is.

I frequently note whether some release or other that has come to our attention is, in fact, a Christmas song (like "My Favorite Things" or "Put a Little Love In Your Heart," which have been on a number of Christmas albums over time). Well, that's actually the point of this song -- it's a generic holiday good wishes song that can be sung for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day or Toyotathon if you like. You might miss the point of this 2018 number if you just listen to it, so the brothers have provided a lyric video made entirely out of stock footage to support it. Independent audio available on Bandcamp.

"Bohemian Chanukah," Six13 (Six13)

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This just dropped on iTunes, haven't seen it on Amazon, but I'm guessing you won't need much explanation of what this is. Hanukkah Alert, folks! Apparently these guys do this kind of thing a lot, see here. UPDATE: OK, Amazon has this song now.

Shatner Claus, William Shatner (Cleopatra)

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I've noted previously that social media seems to have dissipated whatever market there was for novelty Christmas music. Why buy albums when you can hear all kinds of stuff in your Facebook feed, after all. So for a record label to make this investment in 2018, there needs to be an angle, like celebrities, and that brings us to Capt. Kirk/TJ Hooker/Denny Crane/The Big Giant Head himself, accompanied by everybody from Judy Collins to Henry Rollins. Unfortunately, Shatner's been doing this talk-sing acting-school-demo riff for 50 years, and the Rhino compilation Golden Throats that threw a belated and ironic spotlight on his horrific version of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" was 40 years ago. Of course, Shatner has a long-standing fan base going back to "Star Trek," making this a fairly safe commercial bet, but Trekkers are an aging demographic, and this is an era in which mentions of Elvis Presley to anyone under 50 are about as relevant as mentions of Rudy Vallée. For those of you who haven't been exposed to this sort of tuneless hammy overacting before, you might get some laughs out of this, particularly as he plays off Iggy Pop on "Silent Night," Billy Gibbons on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Rick Wakeman on "O Come O Come Emmanuel," Brad Paisley on "Blue Christmas," Joe Louis Walker on "Little Drummer Boy," Judy Collins on "White Christmas," Dani Bander on "Feliz Navidad," Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) on "Silver Bells," Todd Rundgren and Artimus Pyle on "Winter Wonderland," and Henry Rollins on two versions of "Jingle Bells," one dubbed the "punk" version. But if you know Shatner's cover of "Lucy," well, this is more of the same.

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