A John Waters Christmas, various artists (New Line)

Yes, the very same John Waters who gave us "Hairspray" and "Pink Flamingoes" sits us down for a session of his personal favorite Christmas music. Anybody who has seen a movie or two by Waters knows he loves cheesy pop, novelties, unclassifiable oddities, doo-wop and anything that reminds him of Baltimore. The latter kicks off this 2004 collection with "Fat Daddy" by the legendary Baltimore DJ of the same name, letting everybody know that he's the real Santa Claus in this Fifties-sounding number. Spoken word gets a workout with "Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child's Prayer" by Little Cindy, a child's poem that itself gets a spoken introduction by an adult male voice, and "Little Mary Christmas," by Roger Christian (I don't think this is the surf music guy), about a crippled little orphan girl on Christmas Day, with all the schmaltz that setup implies. Familiar novelties include "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by Tiny Tim and "Sleigh Ride" by Alvin and the Chipmunks, and less-familiar ones include "Here Comes Fatty Claus" by Rudolph and Gang, a more jaundiced view of the holiday, and "Santa Claus is a Black Man" by AKIM and the Teddy Vann Production Co., a funky update of the "I Saw Mommy Kissing..." story for the African-American audience, complete with Kwanzaa reference. (I have to admit I first thought they were going in the "Mandingo" direction with this one, but that's just my twisted mind running ahead of the story.) John also rustles up the Big Dee Irwin and Little Eva version of "I Wish You a Merry Christmas" and throws in "First Snowfall" by The Coctails, a sappy theremin-led instrumental. Now you, too, can have a copy of John Waters' Christmas mix CD.