Recently in Novelties Category

Earlier in the 2024 season, I posted a couple of actual albums of R-rated novelty Christmas music generated in part or totally through the use of artificial intelligence. Since then I've come across some other players in this nascent field of endeavor.

• Last Runner Records is a YouTube channel offering this kind of stuff, including Omar Henson's "Santa Humping Mommy," Lola Waters' "Shotgun Santa," the Sharon Sisters' "Under the Mistletoe With a Hairy Beaver," Douglas Dynamite's "We'll All Be Dead By Christmas," and Brett DeButts' "Happy F***** New Year." All of these are in pre-rock 'n roll pop styles and the artists, needless to say, are imaginary.
• Pablo Guccierez hosts another YouTube channel of this stuff, including the southern rock tune "It's a White Christmas (It's a Cocaine Christmas)," the country tune "I Shot Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Now Santa Is Out to Get Me," the vintage soul tunes "It's a New Year But I'm Still Doing the Same Sh*t" and "My Cat Pissed on Santa's Cookies," disco tunes like "Santa Crashed His Sleigh Into My House While Drunk" and "Santa and His Ho Ho Hos (Merry Pimpmas)," doo-wop tune "Your Kids Ain't Getting Sh*t For Christmas," and more non-holiday fare.
• Then there's Mischievous Melodies, which has a YouTube channel, a Bandcamp page, and entries in the usual streaming and download spaces, offering "He Likes To Stuff My Turkey at Christmas," "Kiss My T*ts Under the Mistletoe," and "I Caught Santa Jingling His Balls," all in pre-rock 'n roll pop styles.
• And although we normally don't cover jazz here, Human Curated offers two AI-generated jazz Christmas albums, one vocal, one instrumental.

YouTube apparently has a policy that requires disclosure when content is generated partly or wholly via artificial means, which is the main way I know this stuff isn't "real." Most, but not all of the players involved here go to the trouble of attributing these songs to fake artists with fake back stories about how these are "rare vinyl" from whatever epoch they're imitating.

I'm happy to play along with these items as long as we know what we're getting. The problem is that unlike all the AI images of seven-fingered Jesuses baptizing MAGA idiots that are sweeping social media, these AI songs don't surrender their secrets simply from listening. Indeed, various social media music threads are full of people noting how they can detect riffs and sounds from existing music in these AI tunes, even down to which antique plate reverbs and echoplexes are in use. 

And now that we know that Spotify has contracted with royalty-free soundtrack houses to fill their queues with generic (and royalty-free) tunes to fill their algorithmically generated playlists, how long is it going to be until Brett DeButts and Douglas Dynamite have artist pages and bios on the streaming services? And how many streaming minutes generated by them could have gone to flesh-and-blood singers and songwriters going forward? All useful questions in my mind. 

Of course, people reading this are probably music fans who will exercise their due diligence in these matters, but most people aren't fans to that degree and will not object to having their playlists fattened by Muzak as long as they recognize a few names and melodies. Then again, the Beatles' final single "Now and Then" had elements of AI used in its creation, so who's to say we won't eventually be inundated with productions like Frank Sinatra singing the Taylor Swift songbook with Nelson Riddle arrangements, or Elvis Presley reimagined as a hip-hop artist? Just like Napster, legal downloads and streaming, these things arrrived without any permission from existing gatekeepers and rent-seekers.

Still, speaking from experience, it remains possible to draw a crowd by picking up a musical instrument and playing live and in the moment, and people will continue to do this at bus stops, church picnics, bars and pubs, probably even on their front porches when the weather permits. You won't see this on any network TV shows or in your local hockey arena, but it will be there when you're ready for it.

The Philadelphia comedy troupe normally drops an album just ahead of Christmas every year; last year it was more of an EP and for 2024 it's just a single, which is underlined by the cover art at right. But it's a good one; "Reindeer Game" is a solid holiday takeoff on Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," and the flip side, "Last Christmas (I Told You I Loved You)," appears to be an original with no relationship to Wham; it's a semi-grungy sounding indie-rocker that folks with that particular taste might enjoy. Get it from their Bandcamp page.

And here's another AI-created collection of Christmas songs with risque, hilarious lyrics for 2024. Almost Vinyl is similar to Relatable Grooves, although in this case the "artist" is identified as American and the songs here aren't only Motown takeoffs, although there are a couple; the rest are various strains of 50s and 60s pop, soul and country styles, and not all the songs are tagged explicit, though one that isn't, "Christmas Pussy," should be. All the songs here are credited to Tristan Watering; I found a LinkedIn profile stating he's from Concord, NC, but there are no posts there. So, straight to the song titles, in addition to the one above: "It's Too Fucking Early For Christmas," "Harvey the Chronically Depressed Snowman," "Drivin' Around With a Christmas Tree," "Mom Saw Jesus in Her Fruitcake," "Holiday Hours," "Santa's Not Real (You Little Shit)," "What the Fuck Is Snow (I'm Gonna Die)," "Surviving the Mall Before Christmas," "Socks," "A Chilly Predicament," "Christmas With My Second Family," "Pretending I Understand Hanukkah," and "Santa Dropped His Sack on a Kid." Almost Vinyl has a Bandcamp page (hometown North Carolina) where you can find dozens more non-Christmas tunes, or you can download or stream from the usual sources.

We've previously noted that with the growth of YouTube and social media, there's been a simultaneous collapse in the number of released Christmas novelty records even as the internet appears to be swarmed with entries in the field. "Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon has personified this, with his numerous previous attempts at Christmas novelties, in league with celebrities old and new. For 2024, he's gathered up most of his past entries in the field and added some new recordings for an album that's available on vinyl (including peppermint splatter) as well as the usual downloads and streaming. No doubt the celebrity involvement influenced the major label's interest in releasing this. So "It Was a... (Masked Christmas)" with Ariana Grande, "Wrap Me Up" with Meghan Trainor, and "Almost Too Early For Christmas" with Dolly Parton are all here. Add to that a close harmony "Holiday" with the Jonas Brothers, a new take on Rudolph with the Roots called "Hey Rudy," Justin Timberlake's duet "You'll Be There," a Weird Al "New Year's Eve Polka," "One Glove" with Will Ferrell, "Merry Happy Christmas" with Chelsea Handler, and "Hallmark Movie" with Cara Delevingne. Add to that some Jimmy solo songs like "Christmas Ding Dong," "How You Know It's Christmastime," "Chipmunks & Chestnuts," "Coquito," "Weird Cousin," and "Thanksgiving Eve," the latter of which trots out his Bob Dylan impression. All told, this is pretty listenable from end to end, especially if you're into celebrity star turns, although there's an awful lot of auto-tune employed on Jimmy's voice. Nevertheless, there will certainly be playlist candidates for every taste.

John hasn't been the transgressive indie filmmaker for many years. Since his "Hairspray" was reimagined as a musical, he's been writing books and hitting the lecture circuit. One think he did do that's relevant here is compile a great off-the-wall Christmas album a good while back. For 2024 he dropped this single on Bandcamp, which is a mediocre cover of the Singing Dogs version of the carol. Flip side is "It's a Punk Rock Christmas," a silly monologue that is heavy on the sex talk (make that queer sex talk), though I admit to letting loose a few laughs at some of the gags. Not mandatory, but fine if this is your jam.

The actual title of this comedy EP is Merkel and the Merkelettes Sing One Half of a Christmas Classic and a Couple of Songs You've Never Heard Before, but it was too unwieldy for the title field. For 2023, this Philly comedy ensemble only managed to squeeze out four tunes, a fairly smarmy version of "Silver Bells," a weak takeoff on the Beatles "Her Majesty" called "Saint Nicholas," and two originals. "Don't Get Caught Under the Mistletoe" is rendered as some sort of lost World War II pop song and "Christmas Eve in a Communist Bookstore" is a Sixties folk revival satire. They've done better work in previous years, but the latter two songs deserve a hearing. Pop over to Bandcamp and see for yourself.

This Philly parody troupe dropped its latest holiday offering on Christmas Day 2022, in keeping with the tradition. This year's offering is a little lighter than previous entries, consisting of five distinct performances, two of which are mostly sketches, although "No Christmas Tree" incorporates the antique carol. That leaves the ode to compulsive dining "Eat Christmas Hams," a hard rocker whose melody I don't recognize; "The Mall at King of Prussia," a parody of "Hotel California"; and the title song, which takes off from the Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime." The usual warnings about hobbyist recording and performance apply, but that doesn't take away from the listening pleasure. It's on Bandcamp.

The comedian and folk singer come together for this 2022 novelty rocker about whether to tell your kid that Santa's just a myth, or an amalgamation of 2,000 years of myths. It's wordy but fun.

We had Vancouver-based Adam for the first time last season with a full album of holiday silliness, and he's back with a single for 2022. The A-side is a pop-rocker that is about, well, trying to get a fruitcake from a drive-thru restaurant, and the B-side, "Christmas Sock Drop," is about having your socks droop inside your winter boots. Novelties, but also fun pace-changers for your playlists. Hie yourself on over to Bandcamp for a taste.

Having just gotten last year's entry by these Philly jokesters, it was fresh in my mind to go after the 2021 entry in the series upon its Christmas Eve release. This year's conceit is the current obsession of billionaires with space travel, especially Amazon, and running character Rich Mahogany's need to testify in front of Congress about that company's imaginary adventures in space involving floating warehouses and Merkel's misadventures there. Lots of references to "2001: A Space Odyssey," "Peanuts," and "The Grinch" of course, along with a lot of dated political references in the congressional segments. "Spaceward" and "Christmas In Space" are folky ruminations following the storyline, "Christmas Spirit in the Sky" parodies the 60s hit by Norman Greenbaum, "Straight Up" steals the Paula Abdul smash, "Whoville In the End" plays off "Blowin' In the Wind," one of the sketches, "Mr. Mahogany Is a Little Freaked Out," incorporates a takeoff on John Lennon's "Watching the Wheels," "Still Alive" is a vocal solo by "Mother," the spaceship's artificial intelligence character, though if it's a parody I don't recognize the original song, and "The Merkelettes" is a concluding number based on Marshall Tucker Band's "Take the Highway." This doesn't lend itself to playlisting, unfortunately, as the tunes are too tightly wound into the sketch material, but that doesn't mean you won't enjoy listening to this album on its own merits. As usual, it's on Bandcamp.

Missed this when it dropped Christmas Eve 2020, the latest collection of novelties and sketches from this Philly aggregation. This year's collection is light on song parodies and heavy on sketch material based on a radio show run by a personality called Rich Mahogany talking to Santa. There are only four full songs: "Oldman," a takeoff on the Neil Young song that is about actor Gary Oldman and is not particularly Christmas oriented; "Santa Claus Is Coming," the classic Santa song with lyrics tweaked to take in the pandemic; "Delusions," a Fleetwood Mac takeoff that incorporates Christmas with quarantining; and "Where's My Yuletide," further quarantining set to what's either a Nirvana or Green Day number that I just can't place, feel free to weigh in. It's on Bandcamp if you're short of novelties for the season.

Give the late night folks, especially Jimmy Fallon, credit for blurring the lines between novelty records and TV musical sketches by putting this cool topical tune up for downloading and streaming as well as YouTube viewing. Getting Ariana Grande and Megan Thee Stallion to play along definitely helps, and maybe this will even be a hit.

Most of what you see here comes from professional musicians, but we've never shrunk from presenting people's homemade holiday visions here. Adam's Bandcamp page presents his credentials as a Christmas obsessive, including his music collection. For 2021 the Vancouver, BC native conjured up his very own Christmas album of original novelty songs. Opening tune "Shrunk Down For Christmas" indulges the album's title premise, "Christmas During COVID-19" is the almost obligatory nod to the pandemic, "Cheap Cheap Chocolate" is an ode to the Advent calendar, "Bumbles Don't Bounce" watches the Abominable Snowman fall off a ledge and die, "Late to the Christmas Craft Fair" is an R.E.M.-ish dirge that ends with a gun, "Old Time Rocker" is an old-time rocker about an old-time rocker giving a gun for Christmas, and "NORAD Tracks Santa Claus" imagines if the Air Force actually did track the jolly elf and he resisted their forays. "Santa's Watching You Funk" has him engaging in voyeurism, "The Plight Before Christmas" is a corrupted "Night Before" crossed with "Christmas Carol" set to New Orleans piano, and "Twelve Days Is Not Enough" is a folky strum in a gravelly voice, perhaps an ode to Tom Waits, taking off from the familiar carol and envisioning the singer gifting more and more birds for 44 days. "The Bruth About Christmas" is hard to explain as it's more of a skit than a song, "Accident Prone at Christmas" is a silly show tune about giving one's disability insurance a run for its money, "My Snowman" is about the singer's inability to make a good snowman, "Herb Alpert Swung By For Christmas" attempts to evoke the Tijuana Brass leader's music while discussing a (likely fictional) visit from the horn man, "Those Aren't the Original Reindeer" is a rockabilly take on the demise of Santa's herd, and "Those High Notes" is an excessively self-aware nod to Adam's limited singing ability. There are a fair number of laughs here, but owing to some vulgarities I'd apply the parental guidance sticker to this collection. As noted above, you can sample or download the whole thing at Bandcamp.

For your moment of zen, here's Kevin Drew of Broken Social Scene with this 2020 novelty that is "sung" by a unicorn hand puppet. No independent audio for this so far that I can find, so enjoy.

This nerdy bunch of guys from California can make They Might Be Giants look like Otis Day and the Knights in the dormitory-rock genre, and we've had them on the site with Christmas songs before. For 2020, they offer one of the more annoying fur-bearing mammals as a gift (I had a friend who owned one, and every time I visited he would let it out and it would bite everyone's ankles). As you'll see in the lyrics, the reason for this gift was on the passive-aggressive spectrum. It's a fun change of pace. Get it from Bandcamp or Amazon.

Novelty mavens need no introduction to the creators of the epic novelty classic "Fish Heads," though they might not know the duo has persisted making music to the modern day. I discovered this through the Demented Punk website, thinking this was new for the season, but it appears this has been available digitally since 2018, and DP appears to have acquired the rights to hardcopy distribution, including special collectible packages. Anyway, what we have here is not hard to figure out; it's novelty music across a wide swath of genres designed to elicit some holiday giggles. The title, and the opening song "It's Christmas in Lumania," are both derived from Art and Artie's fictional home country, and no surprise, fish heads are on the menu. "Horny at the Holidays" is a hip-hop parody, "Down By Candy Cane Lane" is a ludicrously downbeat version of a holiday song, "Why Mommy, Why Do You Cry?" is an over-the-top melodramatic ballad, and the Barneses break out the ukeleles for "Santa's Gone On Strike," presumably because of the surfeit of bad news in the world, and "Jesus Is Groovy," which you could sneak into a Christian camp singalong and nobody would notice until it was too late. "It's Christmas Time and I Am Not With You" is more poppy, though they sing it in the same arch voices they use for the funnier material, "The Angel of Death is Near," sung to "Good King Wenceslas," is self-explanatory, "I Am a Flying Reindeer" is a mid-tempo rocker about the critters who bring Santa his Uber, "Christmas Is Coming Better Start Running" has a touch of Wild Man Fischer about it (no surprise, they produced a couple of records with him), and "Silent Night Holy Newt" is the classic carol done in a portentous arrangement that evolves into a bit of free association lyrically. The Barneses make sure not to bogart their style to just Christmas, with the minor-key "Hanukkah at Our House" and the jazzy "Kwanzaa's Here Again." And they remake Bill Mumy's "I've Got Some Presents For Santa," though there's no female voice taking the lead this time, thereby amping up the dementia quotient by a lot. If you buy the hardcopy -- CD or vinyl -- there's a bonus track, "Santa Claus Is a Martian." I'm lukewarm on this, as there's no mic-drop moments of the kind that make classic novelties. Like, say, "Fish Heads." But I will say if you're willing to listen to this in the way people used to listen to new records, you might just find this twisted but enjoyable.

Last year, we glommed onto these guys from Philadelphia who have been creating fun parody records for Christmas annually, and this is their 2019 edition. This time around they incorporate the comedy sketch bits more closely with the songs, and I'm liking this year's collection a lot. Only seven songs, but they're all winners. "San Ta!" is a takeoff on Outkast's "Hey Ya!," "Why Don't We Just Use Rudolph's Nose" is an elaborate sketch used to set off a parody of the Beatles' "Why Don't We Do It In the Road," "Mr. Bezos" pokes at online Christmas shopping to the tune of "Please Mr. Postman," "Christmas Is Expensive" tinsels up the "M*A*S*H" theme, another sketch prefaces a holiday version of "Suzie Q," "Red Dressed Man" takes off from the ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man," and the closer is a medley of two Band songs parodied thusly: "The Wait/Up On Christmas Eve." They always drop these collections with minutes to go before Christmas, but if you're just planning your Christmas mixes you might still have time to include these. Hie thee onward to Bandcamp for your copy.

You'd be excused for not knowing that this former "Saturday Night Live" cast member has, since leaving the show, carved out a sideline of being a cabaret singer. But you might have gotten an inkling since she was unmasked recently on "The Masked Singer." And this would not normally be something that would make this site, but there's enough humor on this 2019 release to count it as a novelty record. For example, the American songbook not-but-should-be comedy classic "He's Stuck in the Chimney Again," and an original tune "Secret Santa" featuring another former SNL-er Maya Rudolph, filled with personality and Latin percussion. The title tune is a sprightly little novelty as well. The rest is mostly Christmas cabaret-style with traditional carols, but in this age of streaming and single downloads I figured some of you would be open to some pace-changers in your playlists.

This has actually been around since 1999 but I just saw it for the first time this year. With the "final" Star Wars movie premiering this week, it seems like a good time to run it here.

If you use Facebook at all, somebody in your feed has posted a Randy Rainbow political parody song at some point in the past few years. He's managed to parlay this into a career, with YouTube videos, downloads and even live concerts. And for 2019, he's gone Christmas with this album. There are a few famous friends along for the ride, like composer Marc Shaiman on the title song and assisting with incidental music, Kathy Griffin & Alan Cummings playing counselors on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Lorna Luft guesting on "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town," and John DiDomenico providing the Donald Trump impression on "Trump's Favorite Things." This latter tune is the only thing on the album that resembles the snarky parody videos mentioned earlier; the rest is strictly from showtunes-ville, which is not within the Mistletunes mission statement, but many people will like this well enough.